


Just When I Thought I Knew You

by Anonymous



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eating Disorders, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Villa (Love Island: The Game), Rape Recovery, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:53:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Rosie and Bobby have settled into their honeymoon phase nicely. Bobby can't believe his luck, he's found a girl he adores every part of. From her radiant smile, to her sweet but outgoing personality, to her beautiful singing voice... She's perfect.But this isn't the villa anymore. When the pressure of work and toxic relationships bursts their honeymoon bubble, Bobby finds out he hardly knows anything about Rosie at all.CURRENTLY ON HIATUS - if I come back to this it will be undergoing a heavy amount of editing.
Relationships: Bobby McKenzie & Main Character (Love Island), Bobby McKenzie/Original Character(s), Lottie/Gary Rennell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31
Collections: Temp





	1. An opportunity and adoration

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time posting fanfiction online. I have written a few before as well as some original short stories but I've finally worked up the nerve to put something out on the internet. 
> 
> I've been working on this for a while, there has been SO many drafts but now I'm pretty happy with my characters and have a really good plan for where this story is going. Expect a lot of drama and angst, but don't worry there will be plenty of high points and fluff too! This story will have many parts and I'll be aiming to upload at least 1 chapter a week (providing work doesn't go too crazy).  
> I've drawn on some of my personal experiences whilst writing this, so I hope that you will enjoy reading it as much as I love writing it. That being said please do NOT read if you are triggered by references to rape/non-com, PTSD and Eating disorders. They will feature heavily but respectfully in this story and won't be glamourised.

Rosie kicked the flat door shut, returning to shut it properly when it caught on the latch, and crashed on to the worn fabric sofa, which sighed almost as loudly as her. She rubbed a hand across her face, sliding the trainers off her feet and letting her gym bag fall to her side. Her eyes were trained on the ceiling, ears appreciating a moment of relative silence other than the tinny music coming from a phone speaker in the bathroom. Rosie blew a curly wisp of chocolate hair off her face, once, twice before giving up and letting the unruly thing rest where it was against her cheek. 

Despite being 1 and a half months after winning Love Island, the whirlwind of interviews, photo shoots, brand deals and meetings showed no sign of slowing down. When Rosie signed up for the show she was expecting a free holiday, some cute boys and maybe a little boost to her socials. Season 1 of the show was well received but had only vaguely decent viewership figures, so it was a shock to all of the islanders to leave the villa at the end of season 2 and find themselves household names - legitimate celebrities. She never thought she’d spend more time negotiating clothing advertisement deals than she would songwriting. A balance she was determined to correct. 

The bathroom door creaked as it swung open. “Bobs?” She called from her slumped position on the couch. A few moments later Bobby appeared in the doorway, wearing nothing but a lop-sided grin and a towel wrapped dangerously low around his hips. Her eyes skimmed over his V line and she became very aware that while he looked tantalizing, she was taking couch potato to a whole new level. She sat up a little straighter. 

“When did you get home then Lass?”

Home. Something else she’d never anticipated before entering the villa was leaving it so in love that she’d leave Bath and move to the out-skirts of London a few weeks later. 

She hummed “Just now. Did you only just get up?” Rosie arched an eyebrow, it was now two in the afternoon. She’d left him asleep in bed this morning, something which very rarely happened seeing as he was usually such an early bird.

“Nah, I got up a few hours ago. Did some work on my laptop before I showered.” He shrugged before clasping his hands with a loud clap. “Ok! I’ll stop teasing you with all of this” He placed his hands on his hips and wiggled his hips, the towel flapping about his knees “and get some clothes on. I want to hear about your morning and then I’ve got a YouTube video to film.” He turned, heading towards the bedroom. 

Rosie stretched, a few bones clicking into place, before rising to her feet. She collected her dumped belongings and returned them to their rightful place in the hallway before padding back down the corridor and towards their bedroom. Bobby was finishing doing up his jeans as she entered.

“So, flower, how was your morning?” He glanced over at her, grabbing the white t-shirt that was laid out on the bed and pulled it over his head. 

“It was fine, I had a meeting with this new sportswear brand. They’ve got some nice designs they want me to model for their new advertising campaign. Yoga leggings, sports bras. That kind of thing.”

“That’s great, sounds much more up your street than some of the other brands.”

Bobby put his arms through the holes in his t-shirt and straightened it properly, it was one of his favourites and a gift Rosie had bought him a couple of weeks ago. It had two cinnamon buns on the front and the words ‘Dem bunz, dough’.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m going to take it.”

“Pays the bills, aye?”

“Exactly.”

Indeed they did and unfortunately no matter how many companies had approached Rosie to flog their products on social media, not one record label had called her back after receiving a copy of her EP. She’d worked her socks off for years, writing countless songs, performing anywhere for anyone that would have her, she’d gone viral a couple of times and had garnered a small following. But no record deal. Her PR team hadn’t seemed particularly interested, they knew she was a singer but they’d said their expertise was social media influencers. Rosie’s EP was now burning a hole in her back pocket, so now she was going to tell them straight. If they didn’t push her to some record labels, as soon as her contract was up she’d be looking for a team that would. She’d scheduled a meeting later today.

“Alright, I’ve got to film this video. I need it up by tomorrow evening. You can be my bonnie assistant if you like?” Bobby grinned.

“I will but I need to shower first.” Rosie tugged at her leggings, letting it snap back against her thigh. “Sweaty.” She laughed.

“Yoga?” 

“Hot yoga, to be precise.”

“All yoga is hot yoga.” Rosie rolled her eyes at him. “I’ll get everything set up then while you hop in the shower. Shame I’ve already had mine.” He smirked.

Rosie collected a fresh towel from the airing cupboard and a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom to wash the morning away. Meanwhile Bobby gathered his filming equipment from the small office room and took it to the kitchen to begin setting up. Bobby had quickly capitalised on his new found fame, setting up a YouTube channel called ‘Baking with Bobs’. He posted twice a week, working meticulously hard to ensure the videos were educational, aesthetically pleasing and full of goofy humour. Rosie had made the occasional cameo appearance which always went down well for ratings and in the comments. So far they were proving popular and his management team loved it, providing him help with the editing. 

Having finished her shower, Rosie walked back into the villa. Her brown curls were damp, cheeks still a little flushed from the scaldingly hot temperature she insisted on. Bobby beamed at her as he set the final ingredients on the counter, he thought she looked positively adorable. 

“Where do you want me Chef Bobby?” Rosie leant on the kitchen island with both arms.

“Can you man the camera and help me adjust the lights please?”

Rosie huffed in jest and pulled a face. 

“Oi! Don’t even act like you’re not going to get to do the taste test at the end!”

Rosie cackled at his reaction before pushing herself off the counter and towards the camera.

The next couple of hours flew by, Bobby made cinnamon buns (to match his shirt) and cracked jokes left, right and centre. Rosie, by no means an expert, did her best to help. She kept an eye on the camera and hunted for a couple pieces of equipment he’d forgotten. All the while she couldn’t help but notice how in his element he was, wishing she was so passionate about her own work. He just looked so happy.

They wrapped up filming, finishing with the taste test during which Rosie confirmed that they were indeed the best cinnamon buns she had ever tasted. As they cleared up they fell into their usual routine, Bobby washing up and Rosie cleaning the counters before putting any leftover ingredients away. She meticulously checked the dates on each food item before putting it back in order of use by date in the cupboard and labelled up anything not in its original packaging. Bobby thought it was a cute quirk, how she loved to keep the kitchen so organised. For Rosie, food waste was a cardinal sin. 

“Oh shit!” Rosie slammed the cupboard door shut as Bobby whipped his head round, arms up to his elbows in bubbles. “I’ve got to go, sorry babe! I’m going to be late for my meeting.” She rushed to the hallway and began frantically pulling her coat on. 

“Dinnae worry Flower! You’ll get there in time.” Bobby raised his voice so she could hear him. “Good luck, you’ve got this!” 

Rosie rushed back in, coat and shoes on, handbag over her shoulder and gave him a chaste peck on the lips. “Thank you, I hope you’re right. Love you!”

“I know I’m right, I’ll have dinner going for when you get back. Now get going, I love you too.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wind whipped harshly against her skin, tugging a few strands of hair across her face. Rosie pulled a hair tie from its place on her wrist and wrapped it into a quick bun before pulling her hood up to shelter her from the rain. The weather was miserable but this girl was ecstatic.

She’d had no clue how her PR team, especially her manager Kate, was going to react to her up front approach. Kate was a fierce, tall woman with long black hair always worn in a severe ponytail. Just by looking at her you could tell she doesn’t take any crap, the lady was intimidating and brutally honest to a fault. Of course, she’d insisted Rosie would play them her EP before she even considered looking into her record label contacts but by the second track a small smile had formed on her usual poker face. Kate paused the laptop, having heard enough. 

“I’ve got a 6pm dinner reservation.” It was 5:30 now, the persuasion it had taken to get to this point was infuriating. “Are the rest just as good?” 

Rosie nodded “Of course.”

“Great, I’ll listen to them later tonight.” Kate glanced at her team before turning back to Rosie. “I know a few people at some London based labels, I think you were right. This is worth pushing, they’ll probably be interested.” An assistant frantically began writing notes as she spoke. 

Rosie could hardly contain herself, squealing with delight. “You are amazing! Thank you so so much! Is there anything I can help with?”

The PR manager waved her hand dismissively. “It’s what I’m here for, just keep fulfilling your brand deals. Keep to your instagram schedule, the usual. I’ll let you know when I hear something.”

Rosie practically danced down the street, boots stomping through puddles, not caring if her jeans got soaked. She stopped under a bus shelter, fumbling for her phone in her pocket as she wondered who she should tell first. Bobby or Alex? Their names were next to each other in her contact list but she dialled her brother’s number first. It would be 12:30pm in America and she wanted to catch him when he was on his lunch break. The phone rang and rang until it got to his voicemail. She hung up and tried again, but still no answer. Rosie didn’t want to leave this news in a message, so she gave up, planning to call him before she went to sleep. Instead she put her phone away, running back out into the rain towards the tube station, deciding to rush home and tell Bobby in person. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soggy boots pounded loudly down the corridor as Rosie ran to tell the pastry chef her good news. 

“Lass?!” Bobby called out, startled by the sudden commotion. The oven door was still wide open, a steaming oven tray in his mitts.

Rosie barrelled towards him, face red, absolutely soaked and an enthusiastic grin on her face.

“Hot tray!” He swiftly lifted the pasta bake higher and turned away so she collided with his back and not the scalding ceramic. Her arms wrapped around his midsection and Bobby quickly set the dish on the cooling rack. That was a close one.

“She said yes! She thinks they’ll be interested!”

“Brilliant!” Bobby beamed, turning himself around in her arms to reciprocate the hug. “Of course they will be, why wouldn’t they be?” He suddenly remembered the oven door and looked over his shoulder so he could kick it closed. As he turned back he could feel his t-shirt beginning to get wet and pulled a face. “You. Are. Soaked.”

“Yep.” She grinned. 

He smiled back and squeezed her a little tighter. “I’m so proud of you.” he whispered.

“I haven’t got the deal yet.” She laughed lightly.

“Yeah, but still. I’m very proud.” He pressed a sweet kiss to her lips before letting her go and serving up the veggie pasta bake. 

A few hours later, Bobby and Rosie were lying on opposite ends of the couch, playing an absent minded game of footsie with each other. Bobby was editing his YouTube video and Rosie was watching an old episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race as she scrolled through her phone. She paused the TV to try dialling Alex again, this time it went straight through to voicemail.

“Who you calling?” Bobby murmured. 

“Alex, didn’t even ring though.” She sighed.

“Maybe he’s on the phone to someone else?”

“Maybe. I’ll try him again later.” Rosie pressed play. It wasn’t unusual for Alex not to pick up, the man was flaky at best and had a bad habit of intending to call back, but never actually doing so. An infuriating habit he hadn’t shaken off from his selfish teenage years. Her brother had moved to America a few weeks after their Mum had died and, despite having matured a lot, he’d been difficult to get hold of ever since. 

The episode ended, so Rosie gave him another try. She groaned as yet again she met his answer machine. 

“Fuck sake.” She muttered under her breath before resigning herself to sending a text. 

‘Hi Alex, I was just ringing to tell you some good news. My management team has agreed to help me get signed! They will be speaking to some record labels for me. I’m over the moon! Hope you, Ellie and my two favourite sweeties are well! I miss you all! x” 

“What are you huffing about, wee lassie?” Bobby tapped her leg with his foot.

“Alex. He’s so useless at answering his phone, sometimes I could swear it’s not because he’s forgetful. It’s like he just doesn’t give a shit.”

Bobby set his laptop on the coffee table and sat up straighter. “That’s a bit harsh. He’s your brother, he loves you.”

“We haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks, he never returns my calls. I know he’s busy with work and the girls but…” She trailed off, feeling her throat tighten a little. She choked her tears away before they had a chance to resurface. “I just really miss him.”

Bobby shuffled across the sofa to give Rosie a hug, he pulled back from her and spoke softly “I think you’re reading into it just a wee bit much lass, you know what he’s like. He doesn’t mean an ounce of spite by it.” He stroked her hair reassuringly. “I know what’ll take your mind off it! There’s tiramisu in the fridge, what do you say we share some of that?” Bobby hated seeing Rosie upset and always did his best to turn her frown upside down. Food normally did the trick.

Rosie hummed noncommittally. “You’re a brother and you call your sister all the time.”

“The circumstances are just different, babe. Come on, we can watch an old episode of Supernanny as well and judge a stranger’s parenting together.”

Rosie’s lips twitched into a smile and he knew he’d won her over.


	2. Tearing up these dead end blocks, Revealing all the shit we wished we forgot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosie, Lottie and Priya have a weekend away in Bath but Rosie's struggling with returning to her home city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, chapter 2!
> 
> Chapter title is from: You're not Salinger. Get over it. by The Wonder Years

Alex texted back. Two days later.

‘Well done, that’s great. X’

Rosie got the text while on the train. She was sat opposite Priya and Lottie, the table in front of them littered with Pret A Manger coffee cups and plastic wrappers.

“Are you serious?! That’s all he said?” Lottie exclaimed loudly, she held out her hand towards Rosie. “Gimme, I’ll give him a piece of my mind.”

“Yeah, but you’ll have to wait 4 - 5 working days for a reply.” Priya interjected before taking a swig of her mocha. 

Rosie laughed as she batted away Lottie’s outstretched hand. “Claws away girls. He’s just been busy I guess.”

“Nope. Nuh-uh, not buying it.” Priya shook her head.

“Agreed. If my brother ignored me as much as yours does I would have disowned him years ago.” Lottie frowned. “Don’t get me wrong, we hardly ever speak. But when I text him, I expect one back within at least 24 hours. And none of that time zone bullshit, Oz is further away than the US”

Rosie rolled her eyes and locked her phone, setting it down on the table. “I’m not disowning my only family member-”

“-Err, exactly! Only family member. All the more reason why you should be annoyed!” Priya interrupted. 

“I didn’t say I’m not annoyed! He’s just the flakiest person on earth so I’m not exactly surprised. I spoke to Bobby and he said I’m reading into it too much.”

“Have you said anything to Alex though?” Priya arched a flawless eyebrow.

“Years ago. I used to have a go at him all the time, but it never changed anything.” Rosie huffed before taking a sip of her flat white. “It’s fine. I don’t want to get worked up about it, this weekend is about us girls.”

“Now that, I can get behind!” Lottie raised her coffee cup. “To the baddest bitches in the villa!” 

The other two girls raised their respective cups. “Minus Chels.” Smiled Rosie.

“That goes without saying.” The Aussie nodded before they all tapped their cups together and began chanting ‘Girls Trip’ until they were shushed by another member of the carriage. 

The trio were on their way to the small city of Bath for a long weekend. They were shooting an ad for a clothing brand in Bristol on Saturday, and the brand had been kind enough to pay for some treatments at the thermae spa on the Friday. Saturday evening they were going for cocktails and clubbing in Bristol and Sunday was reserved for a hangover before heading home.

Four hours later the women had finished their spa treatments and were now feeling thoroughly relaxed as they browsed the shops in Bath. Rosie was pointing out various shops and landmarks along the way. It had only been a few months since she’d been here but for someone who hadn’t left her home city much it felt like she’d been away forever.

“There used to be this guy who was like the pigeon whisperer or something. He’d get them to sit on your shoulder or your head for photos. It was free, he just did it because he loved it.” Rosie laughed, as the other two pulled faces of disgust.

“Sounds like a bad omen in the making.” Lottie mused.

“No, it was great! Alex and I got a photo once.” Rosie looked around for the pigeon whisperer but couldn’t see him. “The council kept taking him to court over it though. Huh. Guess they won.” She shrugged.

A few minutes later the girls were trying on clothing in a changing room, Priya had thrown various dresses at Rosie while Lottie had remained adamant that she didn’t need any input. 

“Which one are you trying on now?” Priya’s Mancunian accent filtered through the curtain. 

“The red one.” Rosie called, while tugging the satin fabric over her hips and adjusting the straps. She was practically poured into the thing, the midsection sucked her in around the waist and fitted snugly around her hips. Her eyes flitted upwards, scanning over her chest. “It looks weird with a bra though.”

“Whip it off then!”

Rosie removed her bra and pulled the dress back up.

“Can I see?”

Rosie pulled the curtain back to show Priya whose jaw had dropped.

“I don’t know how I feel about it, I don’t like my boobs without a bra or anything.”

“Are you kidding?” Priya spun her around by the shoulders so she could see herself in the mirror. “You look like Jessica Rabbit in this thing!”

Rosie chuckled and ran her hands down her body seductively, batting her eyelashes. “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

Priya laughed “But seriously, get a look at that ass!” She slapped it lightly. “Bobby is a lucky guy.”

“So you think he’ll like me in this?”

“Obviously, yes.”

Lottie’s voice carried from the end of the changing room. “Wait! Let me see!” She pulled her curtain back, now back in her own clothes. “You look like some kind of slutty succubus. I love it. Bobby will die.”

“Fine! I’m getting it!” Rosie laughed. “Any luck Lo?” 

“Nah, nothing quite said ‘I’m sorry our first meeting was so awkward, please approve of me so your Grandson doesn’t dump me but yes, I am a witch’.”

Priya raised an eyebrow. “Can an outfit really say all that?”

“I don’t know but I’m counting on it. Gary’s nan is scary, I really tried to make a good impression but I feel like she just didn’t like me.”

“What happened?” Rosie asked.

“I don’t know, I was loading her dishwasher for her and overheard her asking Gary if I always dress like a vampire. Apparently she thought it was just to make me stand out in the villa.” Lottie said bitterly with a sneer.

“Ouch.” Rosie laid a sympathetic hand on her friend’s arm.

The blonde offered her friend a small smile in thanks. “I know. I got really upset and just stormed out of the house without saying goodbye. Gary picked me up in his car when I was about half way home and drove the rest of the way. He wouldn’t stop apologising.”

Priya shook her head, her reddish hair swishing about her face. “She’s the one who should be apologising. Just because you’re old it doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want.”

“I don’t know babe, I think I might have overreacted.” She sighed. “I’m never getting invited over for a roast now!”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Sunday morning and Rosie felt the throbbing in her head as soon as she woke. She groaned into the pillow and reached blindly for the glass of water she left on her bedside table the evening before. Carefully propping herself up on her side she sipped it cautiously, hoping to avoid a chunder. She glanced over at Lottie and Priya who were still sound asleep, the former was softly snoring and the latter could hardly be seen under the duvet as just a few strands of hair poked out over the top of her pillow. Last’s night’s cheesy chips were discarded on the coffee table, filling their air with it’s greasy pungent scent.

The brunette’s mind scrambled to remember what happened last night, the girl’s cocktail bar hopping had swiftly descended into chaos. One moment they were taking body shots off each other in the VIP section of a dingy club and the next Priya was running barefoot in the street, screaming Ariana Grande lyrics as the girls tried to drag her into the taxi that was threatening to leave without them. 

Rosie finished half a glass of water with minimal nausea and took 2 paracetamol, chasing it down with more water and a few bites of a banana. 

She checked her socials and was thankful that as far as she could tell no one had posted anything embarrassing. It was 8:00am and she almost definitely hadn’t had enough sleep but there was someone Rosie needed to visit before she went home. God, she couldn’t wait to get home.

Rosie got dressed as quietly as possible and tiptoed towards the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Rosie nearly jumped out of her skin making Lottie chuckle.

“Christ! How long have you been awake?”

“Not long. Where are you going?”

“Bathroom.”

“Then where?” 

“Nowhere exciting.” Rosie shrugged and Lottie raised an eyebrow.

“Can I come?”

Rosie groaned internally, she couldn’t be bothered with this back and forth. “Fine. But I’m too hungover to be any fun. Hurry up.” She closed the door to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

Soon enough they were both ready to go, only looking a little worse for wear. Priya was still dead to the world, so Lottie sent her a text explaining they’d popped out and would be back soon. 

Lottie lit up a cigarette along the way, Rosie had been mostly silent as they walked. Lottie had recognised some of the land marks from Friday but they were now on a main road passing lots of car dealerships. Her feet, still a little sore from a night of skyscraper heels, were beginning to hurt and she was starting to regret coming on this walk. 

“Is it much further?” She asked.

“20 minutes or so.” Rosie said nonchalantly, as if they hadn’t been walking for half an hour already.

“Can we get a bus or something?” Lottie sighed.

Rosie shook her head “It’s a Sunday.”

“An uber then, I don’t know.”

“I’m not getting an uber.” Rosie's tone betrayed a hint of annoyance.

Lottie groaned. “Not in the budget?”

“Nope. Last night blew that out of the water. I won’t have enough for brunch with Pri.”

“Don’t act like I don’t know you’ve got at least £25,000 in the bank.” Rosie knew she definitely did not have £25,000 in her account but said nothing. “Is it up-hill?”

“Bath is a valley, what do you think?” Rosie snapped.

Lottie gave Rosie a dirty look before taking a final drag of her cigarette, stubbing it out and chucking it in the bin. “I’m going to let that slide because you’re hungover.” She said matter of factly. 

“Sorry.” Rosie sighed. “I know it’s a trek, you didn’t have to come though.”

“Forgiven. I’ll stop asking questions for a bit if you tell me where we’re going.”

“Twerton.”

“Which is…” Lottie gestured for Rosie to elaborate.

“Where I grew up.” Lottie nodded and their silence continued. The blonde noted that while the houses were still made of Bath’s famous stone they weren’t as gleamingly bright as near where they were staying. Here the masonry was discoloured from years of pollution and rust.

“It’s not as nice as the centre is it?” Lottie remarked once they’d stopped outside an open petrol station.

Rosie chuckled. “Don’t worry, it’ll get gentrified soon I’m sure.” She picked up a bouquet of tulips from a bucket before going inside to pay for them and 2 bottles of water. 

A few minutes later they stopped outside the cemetery, the gates had only recently been unlocked by the groundskeeper.

“I thought you said we weren’t going anywhere interesting?” There was a gleam in the witches’ eye.

“Well, I’m glad the walk was worth it.” Rosie smiled. “Do you need a cig?”

“Not right now, why? You want one?”

“You know I don’t smoke. I’d just rather you didn’t have one when we’re in there.” Rosie began examining the bouquet of flowers closely and stripped off the wrapper. “Now, these just won’t do.” She said more to herself than anyone else as she began plucking out the white tulips so only the yellow ones remained. 

Lottie held her hand out “I’ll give them to someone else if you like?”

“Thanks. White flowers are too sad you know? Yellow lights up the place.” They began their walk across the grass, weaving amongst the mixture of old and newer grave stones before stopping at a pristine granite headstone. 

“Lottie, this is my Mum. Mum this is my friend Lottie.” Rosie bent down to place the flowers against the headstone. 

Lottie read the inscription before speaking quietly “Lovely to meet you Joanne.”

“I just couldn’t leave without visiting her.” Rosie sighed. “What do you think? The headstones’ new.” She knelt down to begin pulling some of the weeds up and to remove fallen leaves from around the grave.

“Looks great.” 

“It does.” Rosie nodded before glancing up at her friend. “Headstones are expensive, you know? I wanted to replace this crappy one she had before.”

Lottie waved the flowers gently in her hands “I’ll give you a moment with her, I’m going to find someone to give these to.”

“Thanks.” Rosie smiled at her before turning back to her task of pulling up dandelions. Internally she assured herself that this was fine, everyone knew her Mum was dead. Truthfully she was nervous about mixing her two worlds, scared that the past would start to bleed into her present and Lottie would start asking questions she wouldn’t want to answer. 

Lottie strolled through the graveyard, reading the inscriptions until she found one that stood out to her and laid the flowers down. She then went back to stand by the gates to give Rosie some privacy and light another cigarette. 

A few minutes later she watched her stand and press a kiss to her fingertips before tapping her hand lightly on top of the stone. Lottie tossed her empty water bottle in the trash as Rosie met her at the gates, the witch wrapped an arm around her friend’s shoulder squeezing it gently. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“And the hangover?”

“Just as bad.” They both laughed.

Lottie checked her phone, finding a text from Priya saying she was too hungover for brunch and wanted to stay in bed. So the duo got an uber, paid for by Lottie, to the city centre where they snagged themselves a table for breakfast in a cute vegan cafe.

“Do you ever think you’ll move back to Bath?” Lottie asked as she gazed out the window, it was still relatively early for a Sunday. The historic city looked serene as only a few pedestrians made their way through the streets.

“No, too many sad memories.” Rosie shrugged, taking a sip of her frothy coconut mocha, the sweetness and caffeine taking the edge off her hangover. “London’s exciting, there’s all these opportunities and Bobby’s there.”

“I get it. You know, Bobby would like Bath and Bristol. It’s definitely his scene.” The two paused their conversation briefly as the waitress placed their plates in front of them. “You should have a weekend away here together.”

Rosie pulled a face which baffled Lottie. This wasn’t the reaction she was expecting.

“Everything’s good with you two, right?”

“Yes, we’re fine!” Rosie dismissed her concerns. “I just… I like keeping things separate.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t want to get into it.”

Lottie had a moment of realisation before her face warped into a sneer. “Are you fucking cheating on Bobby?”

“No!” Rosie cried a little too loudly, a few people glanced in their direction for a moment before looking away. “I would never. That’s not what I meant. At. All.”

Lottie folded her arms across her chest and leant back in her seat. “What are you keeping from him then?”

“You are blowing this way out of proportion.” Rosie stated, stabbing a mushroom and popping it in her mouth.

“You’ve just admitted to keeping secrets from your boyfriend, one of my best friends.”

“Fuck!” Rosie exclaimed exasperatedly under her breath. “If I tell you, you have to promise to keep it to yourself.”

Lottie raised an eyebrow skeptically. 

“Fuck sake Lottie, I’m not cheating on him!”

“Fine, I promise.”

“Swear it on girl code.”

Lottie rolled her eyes “I swear on girl code I won’t.”

“Ok… well…. “ Rosie’s voice had gone down to an almost whisper, making Lottie lean forward in her chair. “You know how my Mum got sick?” Lottie nodded, listening attentively.”Well after she died we lost the house.”

“Oh shit, then what?”

“Alex got this paid internship thing in America so he left and I was…” Rosie’s eyes darted around the café, no one was watching them too wrapped up in their own conversations to be listening in. “I was homeless.”

“Oh babe! For how long?”

“Technically just over a month before I started staying in a hostel. It was a while until I could afford my own place.”

“How old were you?”

“16.” Rosie watched Lottie’s face soften, her green eyes full of sympathy, concern and pity. It made her feel like shit. “There!” She pointed at her, startling Lottie a little. “There it is! That’s why I can’t tell him, I don’t want him to look at me like that.”

“He’ll understand babe, he won’t judge you. Its nothing to be ashamed of. ”

“I did things I’m really not proud of Lottie. I don’t think he would understand.” Rosie muttered regretfully before taking a sip of coffee. “I'm not that person any more. I like the way things are between us, he looks at me like he adores me. Like I'm perfect. I’ve never had that with someone before, I don’t want that to change.”

“You’ll have to tell him at some point. It’ll come up eventually.”

“It was 8 years ago. It’s not relevant!”

“It clearly is, if it’s got you so twisted up about it.” Lottie shot back tapping her jet black nails against the table. 

Rosie shoved her food aside, her appetite now completely lost as her hangover surged back with a vengeance. Her leg was jigging up and down under the table, nerve endings a disgusting jumble of nausea and desperation. “It might as well have happened to someone else. He doesn’t love her. H-he doesn’t even know who she fucking is. The bitch is dead!” She slammed her hand down on the edge of the table, making the cutlery jingle against the plates. 

Lottie remained silent, studying her friend cautiously as she tried to decipher what exactly had caused her bizarre outburst.

Rosie avoided her piercing gaze, choosing to stare at the back of her hands, eyes skimming over the veins and bones as she flexed her fingers a little. She knew she had to get back to London as soon as possible, just being in this god forsaken city was messing with her head. It was like the ghosts could sense her presence, their bony hands clawing from the earth to drag her down with them.

“Just… don’t say anything. Let me enjoy it for a while longer.” She whispered. 

Lottie raised her eyebrows suspiciously, unsure of how she felt. Rosie was right, Bobby does adore her. He loves her more than anything but he'd be crushed if he knew that Rosie was actively keeping secrets from him. Her behaviour had also been very unlike herself; quiet and moody one moment, oversharing and erratic the next.

Rosie sighed. “It’s not like I’m lying to him.”

The silence resumed. 

Rosie hoped Lottie would keep to her word but she wasn’t convinced. She played through scenarios in her head of how she could tell him and each time it ended with him looking at her with pity, or even worse with disgust. 

No. Bobby didn’t have to know quite just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I live in Bath?  
> I love this beautiful city but have definitely felt a similar way to Rosie in the past, sometimes returning to a place that elicits a lot of bad memories can feel suffocating.  
> I promise the next chapter will feature much more of Bobby ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	3. The Woman and The Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosie has a meeting with a record label, Bobby takes her on a date, and during post-sex pillow talk Rosie tries to open up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut!  
> This is the first time I've ever tried to write smut, so hopefully it's not too bad haha! I have put *** at the beginning and end of it, so if it's not your thing feel free to skip.

Rosie had just stepped off the northern line and was heading to a meeting with a record label. They liked her EP enough to arrange a meeting with her and Kate to discuss her brand. Rosie prayed they would offer her a contract but knew the odds were likely to be stacked against her. 

She walked briskly to the coffee shop she was to meet her manager at, smoothing her outfit nervously as she took in her surroundings. She appreciated the different styles of architecture, it soothed her nerves to be back in London. Here she could return to her normal self, well the new normal, and be who she wanted to be. People here only cared about her potential, this city was full of people running from their past and she was just one of them. A drop in the ocean. The thought was oddly comforting.

She rounded the corner and spotted Kate who was on the phone and chugging a black coffee. Kate turned to her as Rosie approached and mouthed “hi” before resuming her conversation. After a few moments Kate checked her watch and nodded towards the street and began walking away. 

Rosie followed along slightly behind her as they strode towards a glossy office building and stopped outside so her manager could wrap up the call. Rosie read the company names listed on the plaque outside, her anxiety spiking as she saw ‘RGM Records’ half way down the list. 

“Good morning Rosie! Sorry about that. Ready?” Kate smiled. Rosie, overcome with nerves, just nodded in response. “Great! Remember, they’re already interested so just show them you’re easy to work with and keep selling yourself.”

After a short wait with the friendly receptionist, an assistant from RGM ushered them into an office where they were met by Kate’s contact and talent manager James. The man had just turned 30 and had only recently been promoted within the company and so was in charge of new talent. The risks were relatively low compared to managing someone who was already a big name and thus worth more money. But that didn't mean he wasn't good at his job, and if he played his cards right - found the right person, nurtured their talent, built their brand, made enough money - he could be set for life. James knew the industry inside out and had noticed a gap in the already saturated market, a gap he was willing to bet Rosie could fill.

The meeting had gone well so far, they discussed Rosie’s EP, the type of music she was hoping to create in the future and where she was hoping to take her career.

“”Can you dance?” James asked as he typed a few notes into his laptop.

“Not professionally but -”

“That’s disappointing.” He frowned, not looking up from his paperwork, and Rosie’s heart sank.

Kate butted in “You’ve had some training though, haven’t you Rosie?” She smiled forcefully at her.

“Yes! Of course, I’ve had some training when I was in secondary school and I do yoga every day so I’m really flexible.”

James hummed and looked up at them again. “Better than nothing, we’d probably need you to start training.”

“Yes, I’d be more than happy to do that.” Rosie nodded eagerly, trying her best to show how much she wanted this.

“There’s a gap in our portfolio for someone who can produce really slick videos and routines. I think you’ve got the right look, your voice is great…. If you can get choreography down then I think you’ll be the perfect fit.”

“I’ve written all of my own songs, including the music. I play the piano and the guitar. And I’ll prove to you I can dance. I’ll start lessons today if I have to so I’m at the level you need.” She babbled, fuck she was nervous.

“Ok, steady on.” James laughed and the light creases around his grey eyes crinkled. “Alright, I’m willing to offer you two singles and a rerecord of your EP. On the condition you put in the work.”

“I will! Thank you, th-”

James continued “If your first two singles are a hit we can discuss an extension of your contract.”

“Thank you so much!” Rosie gushed.

“Can I take that as a yes?”

“Ye-”

“I’ll need to review the contract first” Kate butted in. “She’s still in contract with us for at least another 6 months, so we’ll need to discuss how this is going to work.”

“Of course.” James smiled charmingly at her, running a hand through his short dark hair.

Kate and James discussed some aspects of the contract further and Rosie tried her best to follow. Her mind was buzzing with elation making it hard to focus on the technical details. She wanted to dance out the door and scream with happiness. Rosie eventually tuned back in to hear James promising to send a contract for her to go over before signing. The women smiled and thanked him before exiting the office.

As soon as they had rounded the corner and were out of sight of the building Rosie couldn’t contain her excitement any more. Her shriek pierced the air as she flung herself at Kate’s startled figure, wrapping her in bear hug. “Thank you! Thank you! I owe you big time!”

Kate was definitely not a hugger but softened into it for a moment before shrugging her client off. “You’re welcome. The hard work starts here, but I won’t tell you not to celebrate because you definitely should.” She smiled. “I’ve got to head back to the office, but go tell that dreamy boyfriend of yours the good news. No one else though, not yet. Wait until everything is signed and I’ve got a press release ready. Actually, that reminds me, I’ll probably need to have a word with Bobby’s team too.”

An excited giggle forced its way out of Rosie’s throat and she jumped in place, stamping her feet as she shook her arms out. 

“Hello?” Kate laughed. “Are you listening to a word I’m saying?”

“Yes! Sorry! I won’t tell a soul apart from Bobby until you say so.” Rosie grinned.

“Good. Now celebrate, let your hair down. But not too much, I’m still your PR manager remember.” Kate winked. The pair said their goodbyes and Rosie searched her bag for her phone. Once she found it she began walking in the direction of the tube station, she checked no one near her was within earshot before dialling Bobby’s number.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Heeey Rosie! How’d it go?” Bobby drawled.

“Hi, are you with anyone?” She chewed her lip, trying to control her excitement a little.

“Nah I’m not, I’m waiting for you at home.”

“They’re sending me a contract, I’m a recording artist!”

“Yes Lass! Guane!” He exclaimed making Rosie cackle with laughter, her grin almost uncomfortably big. “Ah shit me! I am so fuckin’ proud of you.”

Rosie felt her heart swell with warmth from his words, she clutched her chest with one hand as tears welled in her eyes almost as if to prevent the organ from escaping. 

“I can’t believe it.” She choked back a happy sob. “If you’d have told me a year ago I’d get signed, I would have thought you were lying.” 

“Shit Ro, this is huge! You’re on your way back aye?”

“Uh-huh. Phew!” She huffed a breath through her lips. “My adrenaline is all over the place, I need a drink.” She laughed.

“Yes! Get yourself back here then, we’re going to celebrate!”

In the space of the 45 minutes it took for Rosie to get home, Bobby had organised the perfect evening to celebrate her success. He swept her off her feet as soon as she burst through the door, peppering her face in kisses as she shrieked and giggled in his arms. Eventually he set her down and cradled her face in his hands and she brought her hands up to hold his wrists.

“I’m so proud of you.” He murmured as he examined her face, from her blue twinkling eyes, her upturned nose, to her cheeks flushed from her rush home. He engrained each one of her features into his memory, hoping he would never forget this moment. “Perfect. You’re just perfection.” He closed the distance between them, his lips meeting hers in a passionate kiss.

She pulled away for a moment and smiled before murmuring back “Not perfect, just lucky.” She leant back into the kiss and wrapped her hands around his neck as he slid his own ones down to her waist before grabbing her bum and giving it a squeeze. She whimpered against his mouth and pressed her body closer to his. He sighed as he pulled away, chuckling as she pouted playfully.

“I’d love for this to continue, but I’ve booked us a table at Stony Street for 7pm.”

Rosie gasped “Babe! The pizza there is sooo good.”

“I know, that’s why I picked it.” He grinned. “Let’s get ready.”

Rosie practically skipped to the bathroom to begin getting ready. She had already put makeup on and done her hair for the meeting and was too excited to start over, choosing to just add some eyeliner and a touch of rose coloured lipstick, knowing full well it would just come off one way or another. She scrunched her hair a bit, adding a little more volume to her bouncy curls. Her ears pricked up at the sound of Bobby walking towards the living room, she assumed he must be nearly ready and checked her watch. They only had 10 minutes before they needed to leave so she dashed to the bedroom.

She selected the dress she’d bought last week with the girls, she hadn’t told Bobby she’d bought it, choosing to hide it in her wardrobe and surprise him on a special occasion. She squeezed herself into it, wiggling her hips as she eased the fabric over them before adjusting her boobs so they sat properly in the constricting fabric. Truly the dress was skin tight but she supposed that was the entire point.

“I’m booking the uber now, Rosie!” Bobby’s called from his seat in the living room.

“Nearly ready!” Rosie slipped her feet into a pair of strappy heels and found a clutch at the bottom of the wardrobe so she could carry her essentials.  
She checked herself out in the mirror, straightening the dress a little before strutting into the living room. 

Bobby was scrolling through the youtube comments of his most recent video, liking and responding to the odd comment. He looked up at the gentle clacking of her heels on the hardwood floor, Rosie giggled at the gormless expression on his face before he snapped back to attention and pushed himself up from the sofa. His features became almost predatory, she could have sworn that his eyes physically darkened, as he stalked towards her. “Fuck me, Rosie.” Rosie noticed his accent was a little thicker than usual, it was hot.

“That’s the plan.” She grinned cheekily and twisted her body from side to side so he could get a good look at her bum.

“I can cancel the uber, just say the word.” He had reached her now and ran his hands down the curves of her waist before settling them just above her hips.

She pretended to consider it as he drew her closer to him “What about your rating?”

“It’s already awful.” Her body was now flush against his and he lowered his face to hers, but she teased him, moving her head away just enough so their lips couldn’t touch. 

“And the restaurant?” She murmured.

“They do delivery.” He brought a hand up to gently tilt her jaw upwards.

“What about-” Her words died when he groaned loudly and kissed her, it started passionately but became sweeter after a few moments.

“You are so beautiful” He murmured between kisses, feeling her smile against his lips. “And sexy. Definitely sexy.”

Rosie pulled away and smirked at him “Maybe I should wear something other than leggings more often.” 

Bobby pretended to stare off into the distance with a dreamy look on his face. “Mmm, downward dog though.”

She slapped his arm lightly. “You’re such a horny sod!” 

“Says you!” He teased and pressed another kiss to her lips.

Bobby’s phone chimed and Rosie pulled away from him to pick it up off the sofa and check the notification. “Whoops too late, Uber’s here. Guess we’ll have to continue this later.” She handed the device to him and winked. He chuckled as he followed her out of their flat and into the car.  
The couple could barely keep their hands off each other in the car, Bobby admired the way her curves were practically poured into the dress, hugging her in all of the right places and revealing a tantalizing amount of thigh. He weaved his arm around her shoulder and pulled her as close as the seat belt would allow before leaning close to her ear and whispering “You’re so hot.” Rosie giggled and swatted at him. “You’re driving me wild Lass.”

“Stop it!” She whispered but from her laughter and flushed cheeks Bobby knew she didn’t mean it.

“Alright, I’ll be good. I need to spoil and celebrate you first.” He pressed a sweet kiss to her temple “And then I’ll shag you senseless.”

“Bobby!” She gasped, nodding at the uber driver and Bobby pretended to zip his lips.

The car pulled up to the restaurant and they made their way inside. Stony Street was expensive, upmarket and trendy, known for its wine selection and pizza oven. It wasn’t Bobby’s usual scene, but he made good on his word and did his best to spoil her, buying a pricey bottle of wine to toast her opportunity. Rosie knew that Bobby preferred things low key and relaxed, and for the most part she did too, but there was a novelty about having a lavish meal out without any real repercussions that hadn’t quite worn off for her yet.

For a moment Rosie was on the outside, looking in at herself through the foggy window of the restaurant. She wondered how she got so lucky to be sat opposite such a gorgeous man, sharing an expensive bottle of wine, eating delicious food in a new dress and all to celebrate getting signed to a record label. It seemed so incredible and alien at the same time, things like this just didn’t happen to people like her. 

The pair finished their pizza and wine and left to get their cab home. However, they were surprised by a small group of paparazzi as they exited the venue. Rosie was baffled how they knew they were there, but she supposed that someone in the restaurant had tipped them off. Bobby took it in his stride, slinging an arm around her shoulder and guiding them away. The couple ignored the barrage of questions about their relationship and trivial gossip about other ex islanders and just smiled as they approached their uber.

Once they’d taken refuge inside the car Bobby spoke. “I suppose we’ll have to get used to that, especially now you’re a superstar.”

Rosie barked a laugh. “A superstar?! I only got my contract today.”

He smirked “A rising star then!”

“Well, even so. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.”

***

The young couple arrived home, Bobby was so eager that the door was barely closed and he was already on her, pushing her up against the wall. Their lips crashed together and Rosie’s hands found their way into his dreads, running her fingers through them. More, he had to have more. She was intoxicating and he couldn’t get enough. There was just something about Rosie that turned the man into a horny teenager.

His hands gripped her thighs and he used the wall as leverage to pin her between it and his hips. His hand moved to squeeze her juicy ass and she moaned, rolling her hips forward against his and sending a pulse of pleasure straight to his semi. Feck. He didn’t want a quickie, but if they didn’t break this apart for a second that’s exactly what she was getting.

Reluctantly he set her back down on her feet, biting back a groan when he saw her gazing up at him lustfully. “Get in the bedroom.” he playfully ordered, giving her bum a satisfying slap as she tottered away from him in her heels. He watched the sway of her hips for a few moments before kicking off his shoes and following. 

She was sitting on their bed when he entered, her Bambi eyes locked on his, her smirk cheeky and full of anticipation. He couldn’t stop his gaze from wandering up and down the form of the goddess in front of him. Not for the first time he wondered what he’d done in a past life to get so lucky. She suddenly got up, capturing him in another kiss and he could tell she was inpatient now, the alcohol and the promise of fulfilling their delayed gratification was just too much. Groaning into her mouth, he pushed her back down onto the bed and crawled on top of her. His lips moved to her ear to gently nibble at the lobe before travelling down to kiss and suck her pulse point, making her squirm and cry out. Eagerly, his fingers found the straps of her dress and pushed them down her shoulder, leaving messy trails of kisses in his wake. 

Slowly, he pulled the dress down and his suspicions were confirmed, a groan climbed up from the bottom of his throat, as he realised she’s not wearing a bra. He kneeled over her for a moment taking in the sight of her creamy breasts, steadily rising and falling with each breath as she waited for his next move. He took one in each hand, gently kneading and groping them before lowering himself to take an erect nipple into his mouth. He delicately twirled the nub with his tongue, hoping to draw a lustful moan from her. She swiftly rewarded him with one and his lips quivered into an adoring smirk before he continued his assault on her other one, teasing and gently sucking until her body began to respond and writhe beneath him.

“I want you to fuck me” Her hands found their way to his belt buckle, fumbling with the leather.

He released her breasts to grip her wrists, gently pinning them above her head. “Keep those up here you naughty minx, we’ll get to that.” He murmured playfully.

She groaned but nodded. Satisfied, he let go and she dutifully kept her hands where he left them. 

Bobby got to work sliding the rest of the dress off her and she arched her back to allow the material to slip down her hips. Placing a hand on each knee he pushed them apart, granting him access to her needy pussy. The Scott alternated between biting and sucking the inside of her thighs, relishing in the throaty moans that escaped her mouth. He brought his thumb up to touch her clit through the fabric of her underwear, she cried out as he began stroking her through the cloth. Bobby felt his own arousal grow from the sweet sounds of her whimpers and moans of frustration and pleasure.

Suddenly he couldn’t wait any longer, fuck, he had to taste her. He wanted nothing more than for those glorious noises to keep pouring from her mouth. Bobby hooked his fingers around the fabric, standing to remove them completely before opening her knees again so he could fully drink in the sight before him.

Her cheeks were flushed, eyes half-lidded, bottom lip between her teeth. She’d been good so far and kept her delicate hands above her head, and her legs were spread revealing her soaked pussy. He’d barely started and she was already dripping, looking like a teenage wet dream ]come to life.

“Fuuuuck. Look. At. You.” He groaned, his voice a little hoarse. Rosie let out a tiny whimper and he dropped to his knees, immediately taking a long lick of her sweetness. Her wetness was divine in his mouth as he began to gently lap at her clit, swirling his tongue gently at first and gradually increasing the pressure in a way he knew she loved. 

“Oh fuck…” Came her breathy moan and her hips bucked, he responded by curling his arms around her thighs, holding her firmly against his face. He continued his assault with vigour, releasing a thigh to insert a finger into her pussy and then another, pumping steadily as his girlfriend’s breathing began to stutter and her moans became longer and more desperate. He could tell she was close and he hummed in pleasure, inadvertently sending vibrations up her clitorous and her crashing over the edge. Her lips trembled as her pussy convulsed deliciously around his fingers. He rode her through the orgasm, gently guiding her back to earth. 

She sighed as her body relaxed again and Bobby removed his fingers from her before getting to his feet. Stretching his legs a little, he unbuckled his belt, removing his trousers and then his shirt. He freed his cock from the restraints of his boxers and wiggled them down his hips before kicking them off and squeezing the tip slightly, wincing at the slight release of pressure. He lay on his back next to Rosie, who was still blissed out from her post orgasm high, and pulled her into a spooning position in his arms. Rosie felt a sweet kiss press to her neck and murmurs of sweet nothings filled her ears. “You’re so gorgeous. So perfect.” 

Rosie stirred from her position and looked over her shoulder at him, intensity filling her blue eyes. “Not perfect.” She breathed. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard that response from her but he didn’t think too much about it before he brushed a kiss against her lips. He gripped her hips and pulled her back against his hard on, his breath stuttered as his cock slid along her pussy and he grabbed hold of his member to coat himself in her wetness.

Satisfied he was lubricated enough he pressed his hips forward, pushing his cock slowly and filling her inch by satisfying inch.They both let out a small gasp as they adjusted to the pressure, he peppered small kisses to her neck as her pussy adjusted to his girth and once she pushed back against him he began to slowly piston his hips. 

Rosie whimpered and he slid arm arm up to her chest, pulling her closer to him and simultaneously driving himself deeper into her. 

“You like that?” He asked gruffly and she released a throaty moan, nodding in response. After a few moments he moved his leg over her to gain some leverage, pushing her further into the bed with each thrust before gripping her hips and maneuvering her into the doggy position. 

She folded her arms under her head and began bouncing her ass off his cock, when Bobby groaned she turned her head to watch his face, grinning cheekily at him. Bobby smirked back at her and gripped her hips tighter, pulling her back harder onto his dick causing her to let out a delighted shriek before moaning his name.

Bobby was in heaven, in this moment it was just her body and his, the jiggle of her ass, his cock slipping in and out of her wet pussy, her lust filled moans and he was close. Dangerously close. He’d got himself so worked up over the course of the evening that the main event probably wasn’t going to last long. He leaned over, snaking an arm under her hips to find her clit and pressed the pad of his thumb against it. “Fuck Ro, you feel so good. So wet Lass.” He felt her own hand clutch on to his, guiding his thumb so she could grind herself to orgasm on his dick. 

“Like that. Keep going like that.” She whined and he fought off his own orgasm until he felt her thighs trembling against his and she finally clamped down on him, her breaths coming out in gasps. He focussed on the overwhelming feeling, his release rushed up on him and he only got a few more slams of his hips in before they stilled. He groaned and rolled his head back, holding himself deep inside her as came.

***

He collapsed on the bed next to her and closed his eyes, sighing as he threw an arm over her. She giggled and pressed a slow kiss to his lips, he sighed and smiled into it, pulling her closer into his embrace. 

Bobby felt Rosie wiggling from his embrace and he opened his eyes, watching as she awkwardly shuffled off the bed. He chuckled as she cupped a hand over her vagina and huffed “I don’t want to get it on the bed!” before disappearing towards the bathroom.

Shortly after she'd returned for cuddles, Bobby had pulled the duvet over them and was watching her face as she traced the freckles on his chest, she seemed to be in deep thought as she drew delicate constellations with her fingertip.

“Do you think we’re forever?” She murmured and his hand found hers, stopping her movements and entwining their fingers together. 

“Of course we are. You…This” He brought his hand to his lips and kissed her wrist “is all I need.”

His words coupled with the expression on his face caused guilt to wash over her. Rosie hoped it was true, wishing she could hold onto his love for as long as possible. Her mind was at war with itself, on the one hand she could keep this going and enjoy it while it lasted but on the other she knew it couldn’t go on forever, one day the cracks would begin to show and he’d find out. How long could she go on pretending that what had happened to her wasn’t real? Rosie’s eyes connected with his and she wondered how eyes so pure and full of love could ever hold judgement in them.

She imagined two versions of herself standing on either side of a door. One young and on the verge of adulthood. She was pale, cold, desperate. Her blue fingers tapped at the glass, leaving trails of frost in their wake, her dull, empty eyes silently begged the woman to let her in. The girl would do anything if it meant she could get warm. The woman stared at the girl with a grim expression before taking a key from her pocket and putting it in the lock.

“I-” Rosie began, the words sticking in the back of her throat. Her chest squeezed, tightening with anxiety. 

“Mmmhmm?” Bobby kissed her cheek gently and released her hand to trace the gentle slope of her nose with the pad of his index finger. He tapped it lightly against the tip, mouthing ‘boop’ before continuing to absentmindedly trace her features.

“I love you. So much.” She whispered, her voice shaking a little, betraying her nerves.

“I love you too.” He brought his face closer to press a sweet kiss to her lips. When he pulled back he frowned upon seeing a tear spill from her eye. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m scared.” Her voice broke and she swallowed, preparing herself to watch her relationship implode. “I don’t want this to change anything bu-”

Bobby’s heart squeezed at the tremble of his voice, he hated seeing her upset especially when she should be happy. She’d worked so hard for this record deal and now it was in her grasp, the last thing Bobby wanted was for her to worry about him so he rushed to reassure her. 

“-But nothing. Nothing’s going to change between us, I know you’re going to be busier now and away from home sometimes. It’s ok, I just want you to be happy.” He ran a hand through her hair and stroked the tear away with his thumb.

The girl watched the woman hesitate, so began rattling the door handle. 

Rosie’s face crumbled and she shook her head at his misunderstanding. “I’m sorry...” she began but was cut off by the sound of his gentle shushes. 

“Ssh, it’s alright Ro.” He cooed. “I know it must be a bit overwhelming.” She opened her mouth to speak again but he got there first as he flipped the duvet back and grabbed her hands to begin pulling her up and off the bed with him. “Come on, we’ve not finished celebrating! I’ve got a surprise treat for you in the fridge, that’ll put a smile back on your face aye?” He smiled and the hopeful yet concerned expression on his face made Rosie lose her courage. While she felt like fraud, she returned the smile and watched his grow bigger. Now wasn’t the right time, she’d tell him soon but not quite yet.

The woman placed the key back in her pocket and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Rosie's got a contract! Can she handle the pressure that comes with it and keep her secret at the same time? Will she find the courage to show Bobby the most vulnerable part of her?
> 
> Writing this, knowing I'm going to post it online, has been an interesting process. This story is ever changing as I write it, which feels a bit strange as I already have a first draft completely finished!!  
> Soon I'll be elaborating on what happened to Rosie while she was homeless and we're going to see a bit more of what Bobby has been up to post-villa.
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments :)


	4. Sweet Like Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby's been working, Rosie finishes writing a song and the pair get a little too carried away with chocolate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title is of course from "Sweet Like Chocolate" by Shanks & Bigfoot.
> 
> The song that Rosie writes in this fic is "Cruel Summer" by Taylor Swift - I'm no good at lyrics and this song just fit so perfectly with the plot!
> 
> This chapter contains plenty of fluff and some more smut! The angst is also building up slowly!  
> Again I will put *** at the beginning and end of the smut.

Sundays were sacred. Bobby planned his week around them, everything else could wait for another day because Sundays were the only day Rosie was guaranteed to be free. The pair barely saw each other in the week, between the singer’s recording sessions, press obligations and choreography lessons she didn’t have much time to spend at home any more. Bobby would be lying if he said he didn’t miss her, but she came home smiling every day, always eager to hear about what he’d been up to so he didn’t mind. As long as there was a smile on her face he didn’t mind much of anything.

The perfect recipe for a Sunday involved a lie in, followed by lazy morning sex (the best kind, lots of spooning), brunch made by Bobby of course and then the weekly food shop. The rest of the day they’d do whatever they wanted, as long as it was together.

Bobby had thought it was strange that she insisted on doing the food shop together, he’d offered to do it earlier in the week, arguing that doing it online was easier anyway, but she’d insisted it was something she wanted to be involved in. He thought she was almost obsessive about it, double checking the pantry and freezer before adding anything to the list and organising everything in the cupboard meticulously. It was a habit she’d picked up from her teenage years, one born out of necessity that now she couldn’t shake off. Bobby had assumed it was just something her Mum had taught her.

Once, he’d teased her about it and instead of laughing she just went quiet. The silence wasn’t awkward, she just seemed deep in thought. So as she set the item in the cupboard he walked up quietly behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She hadn’t heard him approach and she jolted in his arms. “Oh! Shit.”

Bobby moved his lips next to her ear and chuckled. “Made ye jump?”

“Yes, you idiot!”

“You were miles away.” He murmured and pecked her temple before letting her go. “Away with the fairies.”

“I was thinking about supermarkets.” She turned around and leant against the counter with both hands behind her, the fingers of her right hand tapping away at the lino. “Did you know that if you go to Asda at like 6pm everything on reduction is only 10p?”

“Can’t say I did.” He shrugged and picked up the kettle to begin making tea.

“Was yours not like that then?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Havnae a scooby, never really shopped there.” He set the kettle back on its stand and clicked it on. His eyes darted to her hand and tapped the back of it lightly. “Stop yer fidgeting lassie, doing my nut in.”

Rosie folded her arms over her chest “I used to wait in the shop until the people following the staff around left and then I’d see what was left.”

“Aah, I hate that.” Bobby popped two tea bags into the mugs as the kettle boiled.

“Hm?”

“When you just want to check if there’s anything good on offer but you cannae have a gander because there’s a hoard of people there.”

“Well, it's good for people with no money.” Rosie shrugged and opened the fridge to get the milk.

“Ah, I couldn’t be arsed with all that.” The kettle clicked and Bobby poured the water, the conversation quickly abandoned. Bobby was unaware that Rosie had dropped it because his answers had made her a little uncomfortable.

2 months had flown by since Rosie had got her record deal and Bobby had spent most of it focussing on his growing YouTube channel which was steadily growing with views and subscribers. This had led to him accepting a collaboration with a London bakery chain to lead a string of cooking classes, the pay was great and he was actively encouraged to film clips of it for his social media. He poured a lot of time and energy into it, coming up with exciting but accessible recipes to teach. It was a lot of fun and sold out quickly, so Bobby had offered to run a few extra sessions. He could feel it in his bones that this was just another step closer to owning his own bakery and a great way to solidify himself as a pastry chef instead of a reality star.

It was a Thursday, Bobby had just returned from one of his baking classes at 3pm and was pleasantly surprised to hear the melodic sound of the piano as he approached the front door of their flat. He entered the hallway and the sound of Rosie’s animated voice filtered towards him, he smiled to himself, having not expected her to be home until late in the evening. The sound of the piano stopped and started as she worked out a section of the music.

“It needs a transition from the bridge to the chorus and I- I have this idea, so the transition needs to sound like this.”

He eased the front door closed slowly as she began to play the punchy melody. He didn’t want to interrupt, so didn’t announce his presence and put his shoes away quietly. He then entered their bedroom to change out of his clothes into something that wasn’t smudged with powdered sugar.

He left the bedroom and followed the tinkling of the piano to their living space, Bobby stretched his tired back muscles before leaning against the archway, his gaze transfixed on his girlfriend. Rosie was sitting at her upright piano, her masses of curly chocolate hair piled on top of her head and secured with a pencil. ‘How does that even work?’ Bobby wondered ‘I need to get her to show me some time.’ The singer was wearing a pair of black leggings and an oversized jumper which hung lazily off one shoulder, exposing a black bra strap. She had her laptop open and resting on a side table close by, Bobby could see that she was on a video call to someone, presumably a writer who was assisting her with the song remotely.

“Right let’s work on what you’re trying to say, the line we add here needs to add something. Bridge - you saw him again, took the risk and laid it all out. Then the chorus is that feeling…” The slightly muffled voice of the woman on the laptop reasoned. “The feeling of a new fragile love in such a warped place. Yeah?”

Bobby raised an eyebrow, deciding he was perfectly content with eaves dropping a little longer. He had nothing else scheduled this afternoon anyway and now he was intrigued to see what she was singing about.

“Ok, I think I get what you’re saying. What took it from the bridge to the chorus…” Rosie trailed off as she grabbed her open notebook from the music stand and scanned over her handwritten notes.

“Right.”

“The devil rolled the dice.” She muttered. “You know like-” She launched into playing a piece of the music, her fingers moving quickly and elegantly over the keys as she began to sing “ **Killing me slow, out the window. I’m always waiting for you to be waiting below. Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.** ” Just as suddenly as she began she stopped playing. “He rolled the dice. I laid my feelings out and he rolled the dice and took a chance.”

“Alright play it though and we’ll see what - Oh! Well speak of the devil.” The person on the screen chuckled. “You’re being watched.”

Bobby was a little disappointed he’d been spotted, he was enjoying watching her work. It was an insight into her world that he didn’t get to witness often and he loved seeing her so passionate about something. Rosie looked over her shoulder at him, breaking out into a big smile.

“Hey you! Spying on me? When did you get back?” Her cheeks glowed pink and her blue eyes sparkled, he thought she looked positively radiant.

Bobby returned the smile. “About five minutes ago, didn’t want to disturb you.” He nodded towards the piano. “New song, aye?”

“Yeah, we’re nearly done. Just tweaking it.”

“Sounding good, mind if I do some work on my laptop in the kitchen?” He stood up from his stance against the wall and walked towards the coffee table.

“Hm..” Rosie smiled and turned back to the lady on the screen. “What do you say, Tanya, shall we let the spy stay?”

“He might as well know what you’re saying about him.” Tanya laughed and Rosie stretched her arms out a little.

Bobby picked his laptop up from the coffee table and set it on the island counter that divided the kitchen from the living area. He booted it up, setting it on mute and began half heartedly looking through e-mails, knowing full well that he wasn’t actually going to get much work done.

“ **I’m drunk in the back of the car,**  
**And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar.**  
**Said ‘I’m fine’ but it wasn’t true.**  
**I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you**  
**And I snuck in through the garden gate**  
**Every night that summer just to seal my fate**  
**And I scream, ‘For whatever it’s worth. I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?’**  
**He looks so-”**  
Rosie paused and went back a little **.**  
**“‘Worst thing you’ve ever heard’**  
**He looks so pretty like a devil.”**  
Rosie huffed “No! Not it.”

She looked at Bobby from over her shoulder again, catching him staring at her with a stupid lipsided grin plastered on his face. He couldn’t believe she’d written a song about them, about the moment she’d told him she loved him. The night of stick or switch, he’d found her upset on the roof terrace and had assumed it was because Lucas had switched her for Blake. He wasn't expecting her to tell him that it was because she’d realised she was in love with him and she couldn’t keep pretending they were just friends. It was the happiest moment of his life, he’d assumed from the get go that someone as perfect as Rosie wouldn’t be interested in him but secretly he’d been pining over her for weeks.

Her eyes widened as she stared at Bobby, something had clicked and she whipped her head back and tried it again.

“And I scream, ‘ **For whatever it’s worth. I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard? He looks up grinning like a devil.** ” Tanya whooped as Rosie continued. “YES! **It’s new, the shape of your body. It’s blue, the feeling I’ve got and it’s ooooh, it’s a cruel summer.** ” She stopped playing and grabbed the pencil from her hair, letting the waves cascade around her shoulders, and began editing her notes in the book. “Yes! That fucking shit eating grin.”

“Oi!” Bobby called from his position on the bar stool and laughed at her enthusiasm.

“I love it! I think we’ve got it then.” Tanya’s enthused voice came from the screen. “This is going to sound sick in the studio.”

Rosie played the entire song through once and then finished the call. Bobby made his way over to her as she carefully closed the piano lid and slid his arms over her shoulders, leaning down to embrace her in a hug and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

He felt her cheek move as she smiled. “What for?”

“For writing a song about us, a fucking great song.”

She turned her head and examined his eyes intently, trying to decipher if he had any clue what it was really about.

“Stick or switch, aye?”

Rosie looked away before meeting his gaze again. “Well, sort of. There’s elements of different parts of our relationship.”

“It’s brilliant.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before releasing her and heading back towards the kitchen. “Is that you home now?”

“Yeah, my dance lesson got cancelled today.” She sighed happily. “Thank god, I’m feeling pretty tired.”

Bobby smiled at the thought of spending all evening with her as he began taking ingredients out of the cupboards. “I’ll be taking over the kitchen for a couple of hours this afternoon, hope that’s alright.”

Rosie swivelled round in her seat and set her hands on either side of her thighs. “Oh yeah? What for?”

“I want to have a go at making my own chocolate, I did it before last year but I reckon I could do it better now.”

“Yum! Is this for a video?”

“Nah” He shook his head. “This is just for me but I’m going to write the recipes down in case I need them.”

“Can I help?” She grinned, swinging her legs back and forth.

He laughed and nodded. “By help, do you mean actually helping or appearing at the end for ‘quality control’”.he raised his fingers in the air, exaggerating the end of his sentence.

She laughed and made her way over to him, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “I’m going to film something for instagram, see you when I’m ready to stuff my face.”

She left to record her video in their bedroom and Bobby set to work making the chocolates. It took him just over an hour and even longer for them to set but by the end of it he’d made a few variations of different chocolate bars. He left some in the fridge to harden further but took some out for Rosie.

“Rosie posie!” He called out towards the bedroom and chuckled to himself as he heard her rushing to the doorway.

She clutched onto the frame to stop her feet skidding on the wood. “Is it chocolate time?” She grinned.

“Aye, you can try a smidge. Come on.” He pulled a stool out for her, but chose to remain standing.

While he loved teasing Rosie for never actually helping him bake, he preferred it this way. Bobby enjoyed baking alone, finding it therapeutic and methodic. Rosie didn’t have the patience that baking required but she never failed to be excited to try one of his creations, fawning over how good it is and stroking his ego.

“Alright, we’ve got four different flavours here Lass. I want you to try each one and tell me what you think they are.”

She clapped her hands excitedly before examining the treats in front of her “They look so good!” She reached forward to snap a square off the first bar and pop it in her mouth.

She chewed it thoughtfully, making a noise of contentment before leaning forwards on the counter with her elbows. “Some kind of berry and milk chocolate.” She paused for a moment before picking up another piece “I need another bit.” Bobby laughed as she put the square in her mouth, he could practically see the cogs turning in her head as she mulled it over. “It’s like a really tart berry, a little chewie but not dry. I don’t know, but it’s amazing!”

Bobby leant against the counter next to her and ran a hand gently down her back, enjoying the way the fabric of her top felt on his fingers. “You started on a tough one.” He smiled. “Goji berry. Description was spot on though.”

She tried the next two, guessing correctly before she had a bit of the last one. She put it in her mouth and let the flavour spread across her tongue, Bobby watched as her eyes widened before becoming half-lidded as she swallowed and released a throaty moan. “Oh my god. Praline. Fuck, it’s delicious.”

“Correct” He nodded, dismissing the indecent images in his brain.

“This is so good, ugh. Better than sex, babe. I could eat the whole bar right now and ruin my dinner.”

“Better than sex?” He smirked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“Mmhm” She nodded “Give me enough of this and I’ll gladly never fuck again.” She put another piece in her mouth and her eyes rolled back a little as she groaned orgasmically.

“That true, aye?” Bobby knew she was actually trying to wind him up now, so he reached across and swiped a piece for himself, speaking again after he’d contemplated the flavours. “Pish, it’s good but better than sex? Give up shagging?” He moved behind her on the stool, placed a hand on either side of her hips and pulled her so her ass was pressing against his crotch. “I think you’ve forgotten how good sex can be.”

“Meh, it’s alright.” She shrugged, a smirk played on her lips as she enjoyed pushing his buttons a little bit.

***

“Alright?! Just - Oh. You are going to get it.” He quickly wrapped his arms around her stomach, keeping her steady on the stool as he attacked her neck with ticklish kisses until she shrieked and squirmed against him. He let go and span the stool seat so she was facing him and kissed her lips, licking and sucking the leftover chocolate from them until she quietly moaned, her telltale sign that she was getting turned on. As she placed her feet on the stool rung, pushing her body up to kiss him deeper, Bobby took advantage of the opportunity to hoist her up on the counter. He pressed kisses along her jaw and she tilted her neck up, granting him access to nip at the tender skin on her neck. “I can think of something I prefer eating to chocolate.” He murmured, Rosie’s breath stuttered and she rocked her hips, rubbing her crotch on his. Bobby chuckled against her skin. “Leggings off. Now.” He began tugging at the material around her waist and she pressed her palms against the counter, lifting her bum a little so he could push them with her underwear down her thighs and onto the floor and dropped to his knees in front of her pussy.

He ate her out, lapping at her clit and vagina, feasting on her taste and relishing the delicious noises she was making as she carded her fingers through his dreads. Her orgasm rushed up quickly, his lips were covered in her wetness, and just when he thought she was on the edge he removed his head from her thighs. “So?”

Her breathing became more even as she spoke “I...I…” She stuttered.

“Yes?” Bobby licked his lips.

“Bobby” She whined, her hips rocking forward, inching closer towards his face. “I want-” He leant forward and gently licked her clit once more before stopping, his breath fanning against her. “Please!” She begged, pushing her pussy against his face.

“What do you want, gorgeous?” He demanded, enjoying this game and that he was clearly winning.

“Mmmm…. I want more chocolate.”

Bobby was stunned. He rocked back on to his heels, looking up to find her cheekily grinning at him, like the cat that got the cream.

“You…” He quickly rose to his feet as she leaned back, stretching her arm to reach for another piece of chocolate. His hand darted out and trained hers back to her side. “You… jezebel!” She tugged her arm but he firmly held it still. “Oi!”

“Jezebel?” She laughed.

“Aye, cream all over a man’s face and use him for his chocolate. You’re a sneaky jezebel.”

“I don’t remember cumming.” She teased.

“Come here!” He growled and tugged her off the counter, ensuring she landed on her feet and bent her over the kitchen counter. He slapped her peachy arse cheek, enjoying the way it jiggled. “You want my chocolate or my dick?”

She giggled as she slid her hand along the marble, reaching for a piece of velvety chocolate goodness. He slapped her bum again and she moaned, hand freezing in place. Bobby slipped a finger into her wet pussy pumping it in and out slowly. “Bobby” She whined “I want both.”

“Oh fuck it.” He cried, her cheekiness was too much of a turn on and he gave up on the game and let his desire to fuck her win. He removed his finger and eased himself into her. “Fine.” He groaned, sliding his hands under her belly and squeezed her breasts through the fabric of her bra.. “You can have both-” She let out a breathy sigh and inched her hand forward again “But-” He pulled her up so she was flush against him, the chocolate firmly out of reach. “”You can only have some when I say so.” He began thrusting into her at a fast pace, keeping her body close to his. She rested her head back on his shoulder and wrapped her hands around his wrists that were still gently squeezing and teasing her breasts. She moaned from the friction between her legs, accepting defeat.

This position was great for keeping her greedy mitts away but it also meant that Bobby couldn’t get as deep as he wanted. He pulled out and grabbed a stool, positioning it just a little further away from the chocolate. He patted the stool “Rest your knee here” she dutifully obeyed, leaning on the counter to rest her torso and balance her weight as she stood on the ball of her foot. The position pushed her bum up, making it look even rounder and exposing her wet pussy completely to him. He rubbed the globes of her bum with both hands appreciatively before thrusting his cock deep inside her. He began snapping his hips, bouncing her on his cock and filling the room with the sound of her thighs slapping against his. She mewled and let out breathy little sighs as she felt herself approaching orgasm..

He waited for her moans to increase in intensity before grunting. “Want some chocolate?”

She responded with a moan and looked over her shoulder, looking into his eyes. Her pupils were dilated, her lips parted a little as she panted. “Yes.”

“Want to cum?”

She shut her eyes and groaned in frustration but nodded frantically “Yesss” She hissed and he thrust a little deeper into her, loving the frustrated horny mess she was becoming.

Bobby pulled out, ignoring her whine of annoyance to swipe a piece of chocolate from the counter. He thrust back into her, wrapping her hair around his other hand and tugging her body upwards and off the counter. “Open your eyes.” She obeyed and immediately spotted the confectionary he was holding in front of her face, she smiled and opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out. He continued to fuck her as he brought it to her mouth and her eyes lit up in anticipation, but just before he could drop it in he flicked it down her tongue and moved the chocolate away. He chuckled as she huffed and leant back down on the counter.

His eyes flickered to the treat in his hand and he hummed “I want you to cum on my cock, Rosie. You cum on me and I’ll reward ye, ok gorgeous?” He then reached between her legs, letting one of the smooth edges of the chocolate rub against her sensitive nub as he fucked her. Her groans gradually became louder and he kept a steady rhythm until he felt her walls gently convulse around him as she came. He pressed his hand against her upper back, stabilizing her against the counter as she trembled. As her orgasm subsided he increased the tempo of his thrusts and soon enough found his own release inside her.

Sighing, he removed his hand from her back, slapping her arse one more time and she shakily removed her leg from the stool to lean back against him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and held the chocolate up to her lips. She parted her mouth and he popped it in, her lips wrapping around his forefinger and then his thumb, softly sucking the smudges of chocolate off. “That was hot.” He murmured, pulling his fingers away.

***

She swallowed and smiled “So hot.”

He pulled out of her and she turned around to kiss him, letting him taste the sweetness on her lips. He ran a hand over her hair that was now wild and a little tangled. Bobby pulled back and smiled at her, twisting a strand around his finger with a contemplative look on his face.

“What?” She laughed.

“What do you mean what?” He smiled.

“That look on your face, what are you thinking about?”

His cheeks tinged pink just a tiny bit as he said “Just wondering how you got your hair to stay up with just a pencil.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated! :) 
> 
> I'm having so much fun writing this fic, looking forward to getting into a bit of angst and conflict soon!


	5. I’ve been searching for an exit, but I’m lost inside my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosie and Bobby go on a date following the release of Rosie's new single.  
> Bobby clashes with Rosie's new manager and Rosie struggles with memories she wishes she could forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 - This one took me a long time to write but now I'm pretty happy with it!
> 
> Chapter title is from Pittsburgh by The Amity Affliction
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING - Suggestion of sexual assault/rape towards a minor. References toward character death.
> 
> Tensions are beginning to rise between Bobby and Rosie, there's plenty of angst but also a bit of fluff.  
> There is also more explanation about Rosie's past and what's going on in her head.

Chapter 5

Bobby took a sip of his champagne as he watched Rosie talk to an animated Chelsea from across the room. The gross bubbles fizzed against his tongue and he swallowed it regretfully. It was Rosie’s big night, her manager had agreed to let her throw her own party for the single, the official launch party being in a day's time, and she’d invited a small gathering of friends to their flat to watch the video before anyone else. She’d put a lot of effort into the party despite having limited time to plan it and as far as Bobby could see no one could tell she’d been stressed over it. He thought she looked stunning and at ease, admiring the way she’d swept her hair into an elegant knot and how the pieces she’d left out framed her face perfectly. She threw her head back, laughing at something Chelsea had said and he was taken back to the first day in the villa, when she’d stolen his heart as soon as she’d laughed at his stupid joke on the lawn. 

“Can’t keep your eyes off the diva?” Lottie diverted his attention as she sauntered over to him, immediately reaching over to mess up his hair. 

“Oi! Away!” He shooed her hands off his dreads and set his glass down on the table. “And so what if I can’t? Who wouldn’t want to look at her?”

“Ew.” Lottie pulled a face and Bobby laughed. “Gross. So I take it you two are as strong as ever?”

“Aye. We’re solid.” He nodded and Lottie sipped her drink darting her eyes over to Gary who was describing something in detail to an uninterested looking Henrik. Bobby followed her gaze. “What about you two?”

“Yeah, we’re ok I guess. I think I’ve found leaving the villa harder than I thought I would.”

“Yeah?” Bobby looked at his friend with concern. 

“Yeah. I thought I knew Gary really well when we were in there but we’re still finding stuff out about each other all the time. It’s not necessarily bad though.” Lottie paused and glanced at Bobby. “I guess you’ve learnt all sorts of things about Rosie.”

Bobby shrugged. “Well, you know what she’s like, she wears her heart on her sleeve.”

“Does she?” Lottie asked coolly.

“I’d say so.” He shrugged and Lottie studied him, unable to tell if he was refusing to gossip about his girlfriend or still in the dark. Bobby laughed at her expression “Sorry for being great together!”

“Boo! You and your perfect relationship!” She elbowed him in the ribs. Their laughter was interrupted by Rosie tapping the side of her champagne glass. She made a short speech thanking everyone for their support and explaining the amount of work that went into the single and the video. 

Everyone gathered around the wall mounted TV, Bobby took his place just behind Rosie. She pressed play on her phone and the video began streaming on the screen. She leant back against his chest and he slipped his hands around her waist, squeezing her tighter when he realised she was trembling with nerves. 

The video went by in a blur as Bobby watched his girlfriend perform an intricate dance routine along the streets of Bristol, the grey streets and drizzling rain were a stark contrast to her lycra outfit and electric smile. The song was a dance track, it was catchy and Rosie’s vocals soared over the top. It was a different song than the one he saw her working on the other day, he recognised the lyrics from her original EP but the backing was entirely different, it was next level and Bobby knew it would be a hit. 

He looked down at her, Rosie’s eyes had been trained on their friends since the moment she pressed play and now she was beaming, enthused by their reactions as they cheered and clapped when the video came to an end. 

“Two words!” Chelsea bounded over to Rosie and Bobby let go of her so she could be enveloped into a hug by the blonde. “Club. Anthem.”

“It was good then?” Rosie grinned.

“Understatement! I’m so adding this to my pres playlist! Oh! Or maybe my motivational workout one!” 

The group gathered around Rosie offering words of support and hugs, eventually they broke away and it was Bobby’s turn to embrace her. “Pure dead brilliant.” He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I knew it would be, you’re amazing.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three months. Three months since the release of the first single. Bobby had known it would be a hit, how could it not be? Critics and listeners alike ate it up and Rosie was snapped up in a whirlwind of press and promotions.

Bobby sighed as he dragged a hand down his face and began drumming a pen on the notepad next to his laptop. He’d become one of those people, drinking coffee after coffee in a café to get some work done. Sure, he could do it at home but he spent enough time there by himself and the place had begun to feel lonely. Following the release of her second single, Rosie was in a constant cycle of meetings, interviews, recording sessions and rehearsals. She’d been offered an album deal and for some stupid reason Bobby had thought this meant she could slow down a little, maybe even take a break, but in fact it was the complete opposite. Rosie’s manager, James, seemed to push her even harder, he’d said it was critical to capitalise on her success now if she didn’t want to become a two hit wonder.

Bobby pulled up Rosie’s google calendar on his laptop, a collage of coloured appointments littered the screen. Her time was booked from morning to night, she’d even begun scheduling in time for him once she’d realised James would fill any available gap. He smiled when his eyes fell on tonight’s appointment “Date night with Bobs”. She’d booked the entire evening to spend with him, 6pm to 12am. Six whole hours. 

He couldn’t remember the last time they spent real time together, their Sunday ritual had been thrown out the window weeks ago. It started as a one off just before the release of her second single but as soon as she’d signed her new contract her management had started scheduling appointments whenever they wanted. Despite living together their interactions were now reduced to a quick coffee here, a peck on the lips there and the odd quickie when Rosie felt guilty. Not that Bobby thought she should feel guilty, he missed her but he knew it was just temporary. At least…. He hoped it was. He was worried that she might burn herself out if things carried on this way, the last time he saw her she’d seemed exhausted and he could have sworn that she’d lost some weight. He cast his eyes over her impossible schedule again and decided that he’d speak with her tonight about it. He reasoned that even singers should get at least one day off a week, even if it was just to get some sleep. 

Closing the browser tab, he turned his attention back to his work. He’d recently snapped up the opportunity to open a bakery around the corner from their flat. He’d barely had the chance to speak with Rosie about it, but the offer was too good to miss so he went ahead with it anyway. He’d collected the keys yesterday and was absolutely buzzing to surprise her with it tonight. The plan was to swing by her dance studio when she was due to finish so he could give her the grand tour. He passed the next few hours wading through spreadsheets and making calls with a few breaks for coffee top ups and a catch up over the phone with his Mum. 

5pm rolled around and he closed the laptop, Rosie was due to finish her choreography rehearsal at 5:30pm. He knew that she would have a quick shower in the changing rooms and wouldn’t actually leave the studio until 6pm. So he headed home to get ready and pack the picnic he’d prepared the night before along with a bottle of wine. 

He arrived at the dance studio at 5:50pm and approached the front desk. 

“Hi Sarah.” He smiled at the receptionist who instantly recognised him.

“Hey Bobby! Looking for Rosie?” She began checking the room calendars on her computer. 

“Aye, I am.” He nodded.

“She’s in studio 5, corridor on the left and third room on the right.” She vaguely gestured as she talked, like a flight attendant giving instructions.

“Still in there? Huh, I thought she was due to finish at half 5.”

“Her manager came in about half an hour ago and extended the booking until 6.” The receptionist pressed a button under the desk and the door for the corridor opened. “You’re welcome to wait outside the room for her though.”

“Thanks, I’ll see you soon I’m sure.” He gave her a small wave before he began walking down the echoey, almost clinically white corridor. He peered through the glass window of studio 5 and immediately spotted Rosie, she was performing a routine for James and a woman he supposed was her choreographer. 

“Again!” James barked over the music, his voice loud even through the glass. Bobby had never actually seen him in person before, he looked exactly how he thought he’d look. Tall, dark hair, grey suit and well built. He rolled his eyes when he spotted the bluetooth earpiece. Despite having never met him before, Bobby hated him. Apparently he was good at what he did, he strove for perfection and he knew how to play the media’s attention to his advantage. He seemed to lord the amount of money and time that had been put into Rosie’s career over her, he used it as an excuse to pressure her into working longer and longer hours. It had seemed ridiculous to him when she came home with a suitcase of designer clothing that she didn’t even like.

“It’s my capsule wardrobe.” She’d said as she’d unpacked the outfits and hung them in her wardrobe.

“What’s wrong with your own clothes?” He asked when she began pulling her leggings and jumpers out of the dresser and stuffed them into a bag to go under the bed. 

“Nothing. But James said these designers have paid a lot of money for me to wear them and while I’m under contract I have to wear clothes that represent my brand.”

Bobby thought that James probably did care about her success but only in the way that it directly affected him and how much money he could make.

The music began again and Rosie restarted the routine. She only got a few steps in before he interrupted. “Again!” James shouted, Bobby noticed her shoulders slump a little as she obliged. His eyes flickered to her choreographer who was looking at the pair with confusion. 

“Ugh - Again!”

“James, I don’t think this is helping.” The choreographer handed Rosie her water bottle. 

“Well do you have any better suggestions?”

“She’s got the basic routine down, we can tighten it up tomorrow.” 

“She’s behind schedule as it is! She will keep doing it until we get it right.” He snapped. “Rosie. Again!”

Rosie threw her water bottle down, a small jet of water squirted across the floor when it made impact. “You can’t keep yelling ‘Again’ at me and expect me to get it! I’m not a performing monkey!” Bobby was proud of her for standing up for herself but he frowned as her eyes widened and she began to twist her fingers behind her back nervously. 

There was a moment of tense silence, Bobby put his hand up to push the door open but paused when he heard James speak. 

“See you tomorrow Gemma.”

The choreographer smiled at Rosie apologetically, picked up her bag and headed for the door. Bobby moved away quickly, pressing his back against the wall and hoped she hadn’t noticed he’d been watching all this time. 

“Oh!” Gemma quickly closed the door behind her, her voice echoed throughout the corridor. “You must be Bobby.” She smiled. “I’m Gemma, Rosie’s choreographer for the video she’s got coming up. They’ll just be a few moments longer, I’m sure. Have you been waiting long?”

“Nice to meet you and no, not too long.” There was an awkward pause between them as Rosie’s muffled voice cut through the silence. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to snap, I’m just so tired and I don’t under-” Her voice cracked and her words were rushed like she couldn’t get them out fast enough.

In contrast James was loud and self assured. “I don’t think you want this.” 

“I do!” She took a few steps towards him and clasped her hands in front of her chest. 

“Then fucking act like it! I don’t have time for singers who throw a tantrum when they’re asked to put the work in!” He jabbed a finger at her and she flinched. “If you think you’re tired now then I’ve clearly made a mistake investing in you.”

Bobby whipped his head back to Gemma “What the fuck, how dare he talk to her like that?” He scowled and made his way to move past Gemma and towards the door but she shot her hand out, blocking his path. 

“I’ll put in the work! Please just let me know what you think I need to work on and I’ll do it!” Rosie pleaded to her manager who remained unmoved. 

“It’s supposed to be sexy. You’re not sexy.” James condescended amd gestured vaguely towards her.

“Ok. I can do that, I’ll be sexy.” Rosie nodded erratically, her eyes were still wide, almost frantic. 

James pointed to her starting spot in the same manner someone would order a dog outside. “Do it again.”

Gemma attempted a smile but it came out as more of a grimace. “She’ll be out soon.”

Bobby pushed Gemma’s hand away and went back to the window as the music started up again. 

“Bobby, don’t get involved. It will just make things worse.” He ignored her, watching Rosie hit each pose flawlessly, whipping her hair and smouldering her eyes as the music pulsed faintly. He thought she looked great but the dance was a bit over the top. He didn’t recognise the song, the lyrics spoken rhythmically instead of being sung, chanting something about ‘work bitch’. He didn’t remember her writing something like this, it wasn’t bad but it didn’t sound like something she would have written.

“Better!” James bellowed over the beat. “Yes! Finally putting some fucking work in!” James smirked arrogantly. Bobby, having had enough of this asshole, pushed the door open and entered the dance studio.

Although Rosie didn’t miss a beat of her routine, a hint of panic flashed in her eyes as they darted between Bobby and James. The latter’s annoyance was obvious as he shot Bobby a dirty look before hissing “Get out. This is a closed rehearsal.”

“Is it, aye? So you can have a go at her in private big man?” Rosie immediately stopped dancing and stared at Bobby in shock. “Off your head talking to her like that.” Meanwhile James had regained his composure, he looked at Bobby impassively as if he was just a fly on his windscreen and turned his cool gaze back on Rosie. She was absolutely mortified, red climbing up her neck, flushing her cheeks beet red. 

“This.” James changed his tone of voice, lowering it and sounding almost gentle and caring. “Is what I mean, sweet pea. Distractions. I’m trying to push you, get you where you want to be.” He sighed and smiled at her, his change in demeanor was unnerving. It set Bobby on edge. “If you want this career then you need to get your priorities” He nodded his head at Bobby “and your boyfriend in check.”

‘Sweet Pea?’ “Away and bile yer head, you patronising bawbag.” He took a few more steps inside but stopped when Rosie yelled at him.

“Bobby!” Her voice was shrill and chagrined, she swung her head back to James who was collecting his coat. “I’m so sorry James, he didn’t mean it, this won’t happen again.”

“Nae, I did mean it.”

“Stop!” She all but screamed at him, and it worked. Bobby’s eyebrows shot up and he clamped his mouth shut. 

“I’ll speak with you tomorrow about this, Rosie. Have a good evening.” He swiftly exited out of the door and Rosie turned away from Bobby, with shaky hands she pulled the hairband from her wrist and hastily tied her hair up in a messy ponytail before bending down to retrieve her water bottle. Her steps echoed throughout the room, emphasizing the silence. 

“What was that?” She didn’t answer or turn to look at him, so he crossed the room and gently tugged her shoulder. She shrugged him off and he stepped in front of her, his heart clenched when he saw the scattering of teardrops on her cheeks.

“I’m fine.” She said and brushed them off harshly with the back of her hand.

“Does he always talk to you like that?” Bobby said softly, she lowered her eyes and pressed her lips together in a thin line. It was admission enough. 

‘She needs a break. Not just from the relentless schedule but from that bully.’ He carefully picked his next words. “I was going to bring this up later but I think you need to take a step back. You need a break.”

“Is that a joke?” She spat. 

“Nae, I’m being serious. I’m worried about you.”

“I can’t take a break! Did you not hear him?” She aggressively threw her hand towards the door. “I can’t get this fucking dance down and don’t get me started on what you just said to my boss.”

“He deserved it. You’re exhausted and he treats you like shit!”

“You can’t just do that Bobby. And I can’t just take a break whenever I feel like it.” She began walking towards the door. “I’m done talking about this.”

The petty jab escaped his mouth before he’d even fully formulated the sentence in his head. “Shall I pencil in my next appointment three weeks from now then?” 

She froze with her hand on the door, she stared at her nude nail polish as she spoke. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what I meant.” 

She disappeared through the door, letting it bang loudly behind her. 

“Shit.” He said aloud to himself. His shoulders and arms were stiff with tension, he flexed his fingers a few times and rolled his neck to ease his muscles. He decided to follow her out into the hallway but she wasn’t there, she’d already retreated to the changing room. 

He took off his backpack, the wine bottle clinked sadly inside as Bobby took a seat on the bench outside the changing room door. The longer he sat there the bigger the pool of regret grew in his stomach. Their evening together had already gone horrifically off the rails, he wasn’t sure if this counted as their first argument but he sure as hell didn’t want another one. Arguing brought out a side of him that he didn’t like, disagreements he could handle but as soon as something got up his back he seemed to revert to a teenager, unable to formulate a coherent argument, resorting to childish insults and he was never able to recall exactly what he’d said. He could never resolve conflict this way, his petty behaviour would often lead to being labelled immature and girlfriends would say that they didn’t know how to get through to him. He didn’t want to be like this with Rosie, he didn’t want this personality flaw to come out and ruin the most important part of his life.

Despite this, he knew he was right. He felt guilty for being part of what had upset her, but he truly believed that James was abusing his position of power over her and she was just too scared of losing her contract to realise it. He sighed audibly and pushed the dreads off his forehead, regardless of their argument he wanted to salvidge their evening and maybe later, when they’d both calmed down he could approach the subject of her wellbeing again. 

10 minutes of scrolling through his phone later he heard the changing room door squeak open, he immediately stood to face her once he saw it was Rosie. She appeared nervous as she looked at the ground in front of him with downcast eyes, a strand of damp hair clung to her cheek awkwardly. 

“Lass.” He sounded relieved as if he’d been scared she’d never emerge. 

She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and spoke softly “I’m sorry. I haven’t been making much time for you lately.”

Bobby quickly wrapped his arms around her and pressed her face into his shoulder.. “No, Rosie, you don’t have to apologise. I should never have said that to you, I know you don’t have much of a choice.” She brought her arms up and wrapped her hands securely around his backpack.

After a moment she pulled away and peered up at him. “Are we ok?”

He offered her a small smile. “Of course! I’m not letting a little spat get in between our evening together.” She perked up at his words and pulled her bag a little higher on to her shoulder. Bobby reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together and brought it to his lips to give it a kiss. “I’ve got something to show you.”

On their way to Bobby’s surprise they chatted back and forth, Rosie felt surprisingly at ease again following their disagreement. She wasn’t used to forgiveness coming so quickly but Bobby’s relaxed demeanor had put her at ease and she felt some of her stress slipping away with each passing minute.

They were walking down a street that Rosie didn’t recognise when Bobby slowed his walking to a halt. She looked at him with confusion until Bobby pointed across the street to an empty shop front across the road. “This is what I wanted to show you.” He beamed at her as they walked over to the storefront, the windows had been covered in some kind of white paste, obscuring passersby from viewing what was inside. 

As soon as he slid the key from his pocket she gasped. “You mean?!” Bobby’s dreads flopped up and down as he nodded excitedly. “You’re doing it! You’re opening your own place!”

“Aye, canne believe it myself!” He grinned as he quickly unlocked the door and flicked the lights on. The inside of the building was bare and in dire need of painting, perhaps even a new floor. He walked backwards to the centre of the room and spread his arms out. “Welcome to Bun-Rise Bakery! Or Rise for short.”

Rose laughed “I love it!” and rushed to wrap her arms around his neck and lean up on her tip-toes to kiss him. “This is amazing, I’m so happy for you!” She kissed him again and he wrapped his arms tightly around her, lifting her up off her feet and swung her back and forth gently. Bobby was thrilled to share this perfect memory with her, he’d seen so much potential in this blank canvas and the idea of sharing a future together that was so full of possibilities was pure magic. He felt her slipping a little and he set her back on her feet. “I can’t believe I had no idea, tell me everything!” She playfully demanded.

He gave her the guided tour of the empty building, painting a picture in her head of what his plans were for the place. They finished up in the old kitchen, what would soon become the bakery itself. The building used to be a family owned restaurant and they’d left behind a large steel table/preparation unit and a few old stools that they couldn’t be bothered to sell or take with them. Yesterday Bobby had set up a couple of plates and glasses, he pulled up two stools and gestured for Rosie to take a seat. He then took off his backpack and rooted around for the bottle of wine and the little picnic he’d prepared. 

“Well, Head Baker and Owner of Bun-Rise Bakery, I think this deserves a toast.” She raised a glass and he did the same. “Would you like to do the honours?”

Bobby thought for a second. “To my new venture and my beautiful, supportive girlfriend!” He winked and moved to clink their glasses, but Rosie swiftly pulled her glass back.

She winced “No… this is about you. I haven’t exactly been there a lot for you lately… How about - To your new venture and the most hard-working, handsome and sweet baker I know!”

“I’ll take it.” He grinned and they clinked their glasses together before taking a sip and tucking into their food. Rosie showed a video of her nieces riding the new bikes she’d ordered for them around the park, the children looked a little like her. Their noses were slightly upturned and they had brown curly hair, they grinned widely at the camera their Dad was holding, he could hear Alex laughing before he said ‘Say thank you to Auntie Rosie’. A chorus of thanks could be heard before the camera was shut off. Bobby glanced up at Rosie while she gazed at the video of her nieces, the delicate skin around her eyes crinkled a little as she smiled adoringly. She then scrolled to the next attachment of the e-mail. 

“He also sent me this, he’d found it in a box in his garage.” She spun the phone around revealing a photo of Rosie and Alex. They were 13 and 15 respectively and both shone similar grins towards the camera. A pigeon was sitting atop her head and one was on Alex’s shoulder, the Roman baths were in the background, Rosie’s hair was in a side braid and a sweeping fringe covered most of her forehead.

Bobby examined the photo, smiling curiously at this younger version of Rosie. She didn’t talk about her childhood much and before now that he’d never seen a photo of her pre-21. Once, when they’d visited his parents, he’d asked her if she had any childhood photos. She’d said that Alex might have a few but she wasn’t sure what had happened to the rest. At the time he hadn’t bothered to press her on it further, but now he was interested to see more. He wondered if she was cute as a baby and if their future babies would be just as adorable. “Look at you with your wee braces and why is there a bird on your nog?”

Rosie turned the phone towards herself again, smiling affectionately at the photo. “I was telling the girls the other day, the pigeon man put them on us.”

“What?” He laughed. “Is he half man half pigeon? Top half or bottom half, which is it?” 

Rosie rolled her eyes. “He was just a guy that stood outside the Roman Baths, he could get pigeons to sit on you.”

“Weird but cool.” He nodded. “So why does he do it?”

“Just loved pigeons.” She shrugged.

“Did you pay him?”

“I don’t think so, it was free.”

“So how does he pay his rent if he gets pigeons to sit on tourists all day and doesn’t even charge for it?”

“Well… I guess he didn’t. I heard a rumour he slept on a friends’ sofa.” Rosie looked at the picture again, the girl’s smile was wide, her eyes held an innocence. She didn’t know that in three years she'd go home with strange men in the hope of a sofa to sleep on. 

Bobby leaned closer to her and gently took the phone from her hand, he used two fingers to zoom in on her face. “You’re adorable, I like this one, you look happy. You should get it printed.” His eyes flickered to the feet of the bird on her head. “I can’t imagine being homeless, it must be scary. Cold.”

Rosie looked at the girl and the girl seemed to stare back at her with naivety and foolishness. She didn’t know that The Man, old enough to be her Dad and claiming kindness and charity, would invite her into his bed. She didn’t know that the raw, cutting cold would make her say yes.

Bobby slid her phone back towards her “I think my family loves me too much to let that happen to me though.” He smiled an easy smile as he leant back in his chair and took another sip of wine. 

Rosie felt the alcohol in her stomach churn, the acid rose and burnt the bottom of her throat.

There was no malice in his somewhat ignorant statement but his words had felt like a stab to the gut. She knew he’d never have said it if he’d known and she wondered if perhaps he should know. Regardless, Bobby was right. His family would never let that happen to him. But no one had loved The Girl enough, no one that was living anyway. She couldn’t bear to look at the photo anymore, her hands fumbled to hastily close the app and lock her phone.

“What’s up with you?” He nudged her foot under the table. “Hello?” He elongated the vowels playfully.

Rosie snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at him. “Hm?”

“Your eyes glazed over, what were you thinking about?” He smiled at her.

“Oh. Sorry.” Her eyes flickered to the left and then back to his face. “Just work.”

Bobby furrowed his brows in consideration, he took a sip of the wine and savoured the crisp flavours against his tongue. “Lass?” She looked at him expectantly and he decided that now was as good a time as any. “I don’t want to ruin our evening but... I really do think you need to take at least one day off a week.” She didn’t say anything, so he continued. “Your schedule is impossibly busy and you seem really tired lately. I’m worried that you haven’t been getting any rest.”

Her silence continued but he waited patiently until she spoke, with every passing second he felt the muscles in his shoulders tense. A small sigh escaped her lips as she looked down at her lap blankly. “I am tired.” She admitted. Bobby released a breath that he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. “I don’t understand, I’ve put everything into this album but I feel like nothing I’m doing is good enough.”

“Why’s that?”

“Most of my songs have either been rejected or rewritten to the point they’re unrecognisable.” She trailed her gaze up to meet her hands that were fiddling awkwardly on the table. “They’ve started pushing other writers' work on me and I’ve said yes because I can’t write anything good.”

Bobby hadn’t realised before that they’d been rejecting her music, but it did explain the song he’d heard earlier. He’d thought that while the voice was her’s it didn’t sound like anything she would say, bragging about monetary goods wasn’t really her thing. 

“Maybe some rest would help... maybe I’d write better.” She shrugged.

“I think so. You’ve been so tired and down recently. Haven't really seemed like yourself.”

“Really?” She looked at him, her face paled at the realisation that she’d been letting things slip. She knew that Bobby wanted an outgoing, energetic, positive girl. He’d said so when they’d first met and it had been easy to keep up, easy to pretend she was always that way. But now her work was demanding the same thing, she could never switch off and it was exhausting.

She’d been hoping to open up to Bobby weeks if not months ago, despite having been together for half a year she felt like they were trapped in the initial honeymoon stage. She wanted to feel closer to him and tell him about her past. Everything. Like how when her mother was diagnosed she was forced to grow up too quickly. How she felt her life slip away as her hand fell limp in her’s, since that day she’s felt a little bit empty and doesn’t know how to fix it. She wanted to tell him that Alex leaving had left her broken but the circumstances around it were so complicated that she knew she would have done the same thing if she could. She wanted to explain that music was an escape, when she was playing the piano or singing she could be whoever she wanted to be, and when she was on stage no one knew that she used to sleep rough. No one cared that The Man’s face and what she’d let him do still haunted her, still made her feel dirty and small. No one cared, because it was just about the music. In those moments it wasn’t real, it never happened and she was free. Most of all she wished she could explain that until she met him she’d just been surviving. Now she had a chance to truly live she was scared because she knew how quickly it could all be taken away. 

But the longer she left it the harder it was and every time she tried Bobby had either brushed her off or said something that made the words stick in her throat. ‘My family loves me too much to let that happen to me’ When he said things like that she was painfully aware that she was a fraud and didn’t belong in his world. Somehow, probably by some blip in the fabric of the universe, she’d been accepted on to Love Island, managed to win and the charade just kept going. His world was nice, full of ‘I love yous’, food and family that looked out for each other and now she’d had a taste, she didn’t want it to end. She was playing house but the walls were made of straw and the beasts were outside circling, waiting for the inevitable collapse.

“Yeah, can’t stand it when you’re not happy.” He waved a hand in front of her face and she blinked stupidly, focusing her eyes back to the present moment. She had to stop doing this. She had to stop getting stuck in her head. “Are you alright? You keep phasing out.”

She stretched her lips into a smile, it felt forced, almost manic and it didn’t quite meet her eyes. She waved her hand dismissively “I’m fine. Sorry, I just need some sleep.” She was at war with herself, utterly confused and didn’t know what to do. So she did nothing and hoped she could hold everything together just a little longer. 

“Aye and a day off.” He squeezed her hand across the table.

She nodded lamely “Yeah, I’ll talk to James about it tomorrow.”

The pair finished their food and drink and talked a little more about Bobby’s plans for the bakery. Bobby couldn’t help but notice that Rosie seemed quite flat and distracted for the rest of the evening, he chalked it up to tiredness so they didn’t stay for too much longer opting to go home and cuddle in bed before an early night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, the angst is real and at times a little confusing but I tried my best to convey how Rosie is feeling and the thoughts/memories that are messing with her head!
> 
> Also - I hope it's not too confusing/I'm not overexplaining but when Rosie thinks about "The Man" she's referring to a specific person in her past, "The Girl" is her 16 year old self and "The Woman" is herself now, as an adult. 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts and thank you for reading! :)


	6. There's things I wanna say to you, But I'll just let you live.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James' controlling behaviour continues and while Rosie regrets talking to Bobby, he's finally starting to piece a few things together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drama is ramping up! Word of warning, there is plenty ahead!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this latest chapter!
> 
> Trigger Warning - Eating Disorders. If this is something that makes you uncomfortable or may trigger you then please do not read as it features heavily this chapter!
> 
> Chapter title is from Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey

The newspapers slapped harshly onto the desk before James took his seat at his office desk opposite Rosie  
“Open them. Read it.”

Her eyes quickly scanned the headlines, skimming over the political and sports related articles. “Err… I don’t really get it.” She’d been expecting to talk about her outburst last night, not what was on the cover of the tabloids.

“Not the headlines!” He sighed exasperatedly before reaching across to flip the first one, he flicked through a couple of pages before stopping.

In the centre of the page was a large photograph of Rosie and Bobby, walking hand in hand down a street she couldn’t quite place. He was grinning, looking absolutely gorgeous in a fitted jumper, coat and jeans, his dreads freshly twisted. Rosie had been mid-speech and clearly not ready for a photo, it wasn’t one of her most attractive expressions, but she was wearing a ribbed burgundy dress that stopped mid-thigh with a longer coat over the top and a pair of thigh-high boots. It was an outfit from the clothes she’d been sent that she’d actually quite liked, it looked good and kept her warm enough in January. Almost instantly she zoned in on the red circles, highlighting cellulite on her thighs and the slight distention of her belly following a meal out. Bobby remained untouched by the watchful eye of the red circle. Next to it was a smaller photo, she was exiting the dance studio wearing lycra leggings and a crop top. The red circles had found yet more insecurities she didn’t know she had. Her bicep, her hips, even her back. Her photographs were surrounded by yet more female celebrities who had also unfortunately received the same treatment.

“So?” James tapped his fingers against his leg.

“Um…” She swallowed. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s the same in the others. Daily Mirror, The Sun, Hello Magazine...” He began opening the rest of the publications, displaying similar close ups of her body. “I could go on. Newspapers love this stuff on a slow news day.”

Rosie’s eyes flitted over the crude, degrading headlines. She’d experienced some scrutiny over her body before, of course she had, she’d spent the summer in a bikini on national television but for the most part the media had been kind and complimentary. What had she done for them to start attacking her now? “Why are they doing this?”

“You’ve gained weight.” He said simply and paused to study her reaction.

“Have I?” His expression told her that this was a bad thing, she’d never worried about her weight before, simply accepting the natural ebb and flow of her body as it changed. Now a new, unfamiliar sense of shame was sinking into her bones. “I don’t understand. I’ve been eating the same, exercising more than ever. My clothes fit the same way.” She felt uncomfortable and embarrassed, hot tears pricked her eyes and she blinked them back before they could escape.

“The evidence is there.” He sighed again before closing all of the newspapers and sliding them off the desk and into the bin. “You don’t need to see more of that. I didn’t show you to upset you. It’s just-” He walked around the desk to sit on the edge closest to where she was sat.”-the media notices these things and so do the public.” He noticed a tear on her cheek and leaned forward, his hand darted out to wipe it off and she involuntarily flinched backwards before swiping it away with herself. He plucked a tissue from the box on his desk and handed it to her. “There’s no need to cry Sweatpea. I just need you to fix it, OK? You’ve got some photo shoots coming up, some live TV performances and a video shoot, let’s turn this media attention around and get them back on side.” He smiled warmly at her. “We both know that you’re the after, not the before. Let’s prove them wrong.”

\--------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks later Bobby was patiently waiting for Rosie at a local brunch spot. After settling into his seat he warmed up quickly, grateful that the heating was turned up full blast and some feeling was returning to his fingers. He passed the time by responding to a text from his Mum.

_‘I have recorded Rosie’s performance on Graham Norton last Saturday, would you like me to send it to you? Sabrina has gone back to uni now, your Dad dropped her off yesterday afternoon. House is very quiet now. Hope you are both well. Xxx’_

_‘Hi Mam - already watched it but yes please. Both good thanks + hope you and Dad are too. Gonna catch up with Sab soon. Love you both xxx”’_

“Hey, sweetness, I’ve missed you.” Bobby glanced up from his phone as Rosie’s melodic voice rang across the cafe, his heart fluttered when he took in her broad smile. Her hair bounced and the black mini dress rode up her thighs beneath her thick coat as she walked past the clusters of tables between them.

“Afternoon gorgeous.” He set his phone face down on the table and stood to give her a kiss on the lips. “I’ve missed you too. You’re looking very dressed up today.”

Her smile faltered a little as she glanced down at her outfit, she adjusted the hem further down her legs and tugged a little at the material where it clung to her waist. “Oh! I’ve just come from a shoot. Sorry, it’s a bit much. I look ridiculous.” She chuckled awkwardly.

“No, that’s not-” He started his sentence again. “I think you look stunning.” He said earnestly and her eyes regained some of their usual sparkle. She removed her coat and they took their seats opposite each other. Bobby, having decided what he wanted in advance, handed her the menu. “How have you been, Lass?” The couple had met up at a cafe near Rosie’s next appointment for lunch and a catch up, it was something they’d been looking forward to, having not seen each other properly in a couple of weeks.

Rosie hummed noncommittally before speaking. “Ok I guess. I’ve done a lot of press this week for the album.” She gestured towards her general appearance as she glanced at the menu “This is the fourth photo shoot this week and I’ve still got a few more to come.”

“Busy bee! I caught you on the tele Saturday.”

“Oh yeah, what did you think?”

“You were great, a proper pop star you are now..” Bobby enthused and she smiled wryly. “How were the photo shoots?” He enquired, watching her blue eyes scan over the food options. He noticed her frown slightly before his words registered and she relaxed her facial features before glancing up at him. She lent an elbow on the table and rested her head in her hand.

“Today was a lot better than the rest… I had a nice makeup artist, she’s a big fan of ours.” She chuckled.

Bobby ignored the second half of her statement “What happened at the others?”

Her cheeks flushed pink and she sat up straight. “Oh, nothing.”

“Lass-”

“They were fine! James was just a bit…” She searched for the right word. “...impatient with me.”

He narrowed his eyes, her manager’s name always seemed to come up when something was wrong. “Why? What happened?”

“I just… I hadn’t prepared enough. The photographers seemed happy with me anyway and he didn’t come to the one today so it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything.”

He gave her a sceptical look and was about to press further when the waiter had arrived to take their order.

“Good afternoon, can I get you any drinks?” He asked, pen poised next to his notepad.

“Just still water please.” Rosie said.

“I’ll have water as well and a flat white please.”

“Do you know what you’d like to eat yet or shall I give you a few more minutes?”

Bobby looked at Rosie. “I know what I want, are you ready?”

She nodded so he went ahead and ordered. “Can I have the breakfast tortilla please?”

“Certainly and for you?” He looked at Rosie expectantly.

“Just the butternut squash salad please.” She held the menu up, the waiter jerked his hand to take it but hesitated.

“As a main?”

Rosie’s cheeks flushed a little as she nodded. “Yes please.”

“It will be the same size as the starter, is that OK? Same price as well of course.” The waiter seemed confused by her request and Bobby glanced at his menu, noting how there really wasn’t much to the dish.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” She smiled sweetly at the waiter. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem, I’ll be back shortly with your drinks.” He politely held his hand out for the second menu and Bobby handed it to him.

As he left Bobby turned back to his girlfriend whose head was tilted towards the window. “Are you sure you don’t want to order something else? I think the salad will be really small.” He was perplexed why she hadn’t ordered something more substantial.

“I’ll be fine, I’m not hungry.” She mumbled, her tired gaze was fixed on something outside and refused to meet his.

“Don’t you have a rehearsal in a couple of hours? You need more scran than that, you’ll be starving by then let alone when you finish.” She still didn’t look at him, focusing on a squirrel that was digging in the earth, searching for a nut buried in the summer. “I was sure you’d choose the peanut butter and banana pancakes, that’s why I picked this place.” The squirrel stopped digging, it had found it’s prize. It picked it up with it’s tiny paws, inspecting it with a quivering nose. “Are you listening?” The squirrel tossed the rotten nut aside and ran away in search of something better.

She reluctantly turned her face back towards him “Please just leave it Bobby, I said I’ll be fine.”

“Alright…” He muttered, totally unconvinced.

Rosie broke the awkward silence that had fallen between them. “How is the bakery coming along?”

“It’s going well I think. I’ve got most of the furniture arriving this week and interviews for a shop manager next week.” She smiled at him and her obvious interest inspired him to continue. “I want to get them on board sooner than later so they can assist with the rest of the process and know the business inside out. Then I’ll have more time to get the marketing sorted.”

The waiter returned with their drinks, promising to be back shortly with their food order.

“I love when you talk about the bakery. It’s going to be the best one in London.” She took a long sip of her water before smiling at him.

“Aye? You sound so sure.” He laughed.

“I am sure, you should see the way your eyes light up. It’s lovely.” She set her glass back on the table. “You're passionate and you know what you’re talking about, perfect combination.” Bobby grinned at her adoringly.

“This afternoon I’ve got a meeting with a coffee company.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I’m trying to get them on board so I can use their beans in store and hopefully loan a machine and grinder off them. Could save me thousands.”

“Is that something they do?” She crossed her arms on the table and leant on her elbows.

“Yeah but I’m useless at business pitches so I’m kind of bricking it.”

“Well that’s a lie.” She smiled at him.

“What?” He laughed. “I am!”

“I don’t doubt you’re nervous but I’ve never seen you bomb an interview. And if they don’t want you to sell their coffee then sod ‘em, someone else will jump at the chance.” She leant forward across the table and picked a piece of fluff from his thin jumper. “Chelsea called the other day.”

“How is she?”

She settled back in her seat. “Yeah, she’s good, she’d like us to come over some time.”

“I’d love that, it’s been ages since we’ve hung out. I meant to text her last week, I was in Primark and saw her homeware collection in there.” Bobby took a sip of his flat white, the bitter taste spread over his tongue.

Rosie took her phone from her bag and sent Chelsea a quick text. “I haven’t had a chance to look yet. I’ll see when she’s free and try to arrange an evening off so we can see her.” She set her phone back on to the table. “I really miss everyone, I know I saw them at the last reunion but…” She sighed.

“Aye but you couldn’t stick around for the after party, it’s not like you had a chance to catch up properly.” He plucked a sachet of brown sugar from the condiment holder, tearing it open to pour into his drink.

Rosie pressed her lips together and hummed regretfully as she watched the fine granules slowly disintegrate into the steamed milk.

“Heard from Alex?” He picked up a spoon and stirred his drink slowly.

Rosie shook her head “Not really, Ellie tagged me in a video of Thea dancing to one of my songs. She’d made up a whole dance routine and everything, I’m going to learn it and send her a video back.”

The waiter returned with their food and placed them carefully on the table. Bobby’s mouth watered as he looked at the glorious creation on his plate; the grilled halloumi, vegetables and fried egg were cooked to perfection.

“Can I get you anything else?” The waiter smiled nervously as he set the cutlery down. Bobby frowned as he saw the tiny salad of rocket, butternut squash, pine nuts and crumbled feta that sat in front of Rosie. It was more like a side salad and definitely not enough to fuel her through her busy schedule. He could tell that Rosie was about to refuse so he jumped in before she could.

“Yes please, can we also get the peanut butter pancakes? Thank you.”

The waiter nodded and left. Bobby picked his cutlery up and began tucking into his food, he froze mid bite when he noticed Rosie staring icey steel daggers at him.

He swallowed and cleared his throat. “What? Why ye gawkin’?”

“I don’t want anything else. I said I was fine!” Her voice wavered as she whispered loudly. “What a waste!”

Bobby shrugged “I’m just worried you’ll be hungry.”

“I’m not a child Bobby!” She snapped and ironically huffed loudly.

Bobby felt the frustration rise up his throat, his eyes hardened gearing up for a fight, but he swallowed his irritation back down before he could lose control of his words. “I...I know that.”

His response took the wind out of her sails and for a fraction of a second she appeared alarmed before her features softened. Hazel eyes met her vast expanse of blue and he let himself bathe in them for a moment but found no source of comfort. He realised the dancing warm glow of the sun had disappeared, they now reminded him of when her mind slipped far away to a place he couldn’t reach. Still hauntingly beautiful, they held this vacant, unfocused sheen, as if the giant star had gone missing behind the clouds and the gentle lapping of the ocean had ceased. She ran a hand through her hair, pushing the strands away from her face. “I’m sorry for snapping.”

He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something else. He wasn’t sure what, perhaps an explanation for the outrage and mortification that had been evident moments before.

“I’m…” She hesitated, unsure if she should tell him but she decided that her life might be easier if she did. “I’m just on a diet at the moment. I should have said earlier.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “A diet?!” He shook his head, completely baffled. “But why? You dinnae need to lose weight.”

Rosie gave him a non-committal hum and gently pushed the salad around her plate.

“Did someone tell you that? That you should go on a diet?”

“It’s for my job. I’ll be careful, I promise.” She put some squash into her mouth and chewed it slowly.

“For yer job?!” He raised his voice, gaining a few glances from the neighbouring table but he didn’t notice. His mind was trying to make sense of what she was saying, she hadn’t gained any weight since Love Island, if anything she was slimmer now. “How much have they told you to lose?”

Rosie noticed the stares being directed their way and brushed some of the hair back over her shoulder so she could hide behind it. “20 pounds….” She mumbled.

“What?!” He cried, people were definitely staring now and Rosie had begun leaning on her elbows, using her hands to shield the sides of her face. “Naw, 20 pounds? Rosie, you’ll make yourself ill!”

Her cheeks were turning a delicate shade of crimson between her palms “Bobby please! People are looking.”

Bobby glanced around him, noting how everyone not so subtly turned their heads away. He felt bad for making a scene and hadn’t realised how loud his voice had been. He lowered his tone, ensuring that only Rosie could hear him now. “Fine but I want to talk about this when you get back tonight.” He drummed his fingers against the table while he scooped forkfuls of food into his mouth. He didn’t even taste it, he chewed mechanically while his brain seethed over this latest revelation in Rosie’s life.

“Do you think you need to lose weight?” He blurted.

“I.. um.. ” She started but didn’t finish.

“Because it’s fucken’ bollocks. You don’t.”

While he was furious that her management team had been feeding her a bunch of lies, he was frustrated that she hadn’t even talked to him about it first. Of course he couldn’t stop her, but he wanted to know what exactly this diet involved and how she was supposed to go about achieving 20 pounds of weight loss. His eyes scanned over her curvy but lean body. He couldn’t fathom why they’d want to change a thing, 20 pounds was ridiculous and would definitely make her underweight. He wondered how long they’d been messing with her head.

“They’re fucken’ eejits.”

They ate the rest of their food in relative silence. Rosie could feel his amber eyes burning like molten lava into her the entire time, she tried to think of something else to talk about but she was so self conscious nothing came up.

He set his knife and fork down on the plate once he was finished. “So.” He leaned back in his seat and watched her push a bit of cheese about on the plate. “How did they come up with this magic number?”

She groaned under her breath, it had been a mistake telling him. She was hoping for some understanding but now she felt defensive and attacked. She was wrong for gaining weight and wrong for dieting, she couldn’t win.

“Did they take you to a doctor and weigh you?”

“I thought we were going to talk about this at home.” She all but whispered effectively avoiding the question, her forehead felt tight as an invisible thread tugged beneath it increasing in intensity with each pull. Bobby just nodded and changed the subject.

“Have you asked about time off yet?”

She resisted rolling her eyes and just shook her head.

“Lass” He sighed.

“I know, sorry. I’ve been all over the place.” She muttered. “I’ve got a catch up scheduled this afternoon, I was going to ask then.” She pushed her empty plate away. “One day off a week, right?”

“Right.” He forced himself to smile gently at her.

“Shall I ask for a little holiday after the album comes out? Maybe a week, two weeks off? After the press tour is finished obviously.” She wasn’t confident she could get it, but she thought he’d appreciate it if she asked.

His smile became genuine at her words. “That would be amazing.” He reached across the table and gently took her hand, squeezing it affectionately. “I’ve been a right crabbit. Nagging on at you today. I’m just worried.” A small smile played on her lips at his admittance.

The waiter returned, placing the plate of pancakes between them before removing the dirty crockery.

“Thank you.” Bobby said to the waiter as he set fresh cutlery down. He turned his attention back to the somewhat stressed beauty opposite him. “You don’t have to eat it. Not if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t want to waste it, do you think they’d box it up for us? You could have it later.”

Bobby scrunched up his features. “Nah, I’d just end up binning it. It would go funny when reheated I reckon.”

Rosie’s head throbbed as she debated between the two options. She never could stand food waste, people were literally starving in this very city and she couldn’t with good conscience let a plate of perfectly good food go to waste. On the other, the pancakes were just sugar and fat, probably more calories than she was allowed to eat and the scales would know. So James would know.

And then everyone else would know.

She decided to call the waiter back over to the table and get it boxed anyway, she also asked for a tea to takeaway.

Rosie kissed Bobby goodbye outside the tube station before she turned away to walk to her recording studio, just a few streets away. He phoned a supplier before he went inside the underground, knowing he wouldn’t have any signal once he was in there.

He watched the brunette’s figure walk away, admiring the way her fawn coat swung against her tights elegantly, she stopped outside a run-down shop front and began talking to someone he couldn’t see. He observed her crouch down, a pair of gloved hands gratefully took the items from her and then shook her hand in thanks before she waved goodbye and continued her journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm currently self isolating - according to the NHS app I've been in contact with someone with covid. No symptoms yet, so fingers crossed! Consequently I have plenty of time to write, so I may post the next chapter quite quickly.
> 
> I have my own experiences with eating disorders so decided to incorporate it into my story. I think it threads in well with the level of control James wants to have over Rosie as well as Rosie's own self loathing.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading! It's going to get very angsty and dramatic, I love stories like that but don't worry we will get back to happier times eventually :)


	7. Seeping through the cracks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter formatting might be a bit off- I'm going to go edit it shortly.
> 
> Trigger Warning - Eating disorders, referencing to sexual assault/rape, poor mental health.

4 hours later, Rosie groaned in frustration. Yet another recording session had ended and more of her work had been rejected, maybe somewhere along the way she had lost her knack for songwriting. Or perhaps she’d never had it to begin with and the first few had been a fluke. 

She concluded that James was right, his writers did know what they were doing. 

Thankfully, he’d seemed happy with her yesterday after she’d sent him the dance rehearsal recording for the upcoming video shoot. It was three days away and she’d finally nailed the choreography, on top of that she’d lost 5 pounds already. At least that part hadn’t been too difficult, her never ending work schedule had meant it had been easy to avoid food. She’d also reverted back to a few habits she’d taught herself as a teenager to trick her body into thinking it wasn’t hungry. It was reassuring having that level of control over something, everything else around her was spiraling out of control; her dream career had morphed into an ugly all consuming beast, her relationship with Bobby was beginning to crumble and sometimes it felt like an impossible task to hold herself together. But she had to, she had to keep going somehow, she had to make it work.  
  
She checked her appointments for the rest of the day, her 30 minute catch-up with James was scheduled next and that was to be followed by a choreography rehearsal. She chanted an inward prayer to herself that James would be satisfied enough with her progress to let her have Sundays off again. Then Bobby might be happy with her again and she could keep loving him for as long as he’d let her.  
  
She settled into the back seat of the car and listened to the songs that had been completed so far on her headphones. She hadn’t listened to them one after the other before and she was disappointed that they all sounded the same. No matter how hard she’d tried, hardly any of her suggestions were accepted in the studio and she couldn’t help but feel like it was just her voice in the songs and nothing else. She could have been swapped out with another female singer and the outcome would have been practically the same.  
  
She closed her eyes and leant her head back against the headrest. “I’m lucky. I’m so lucky, So many people want this. I want this.” She reassured herself in a whisper. She reasoned that her suggestions weren’t on the album because they weren’t any good and she should be grateful that someone like James was leading the project and taking care of her career. She just had to trust him. 

‘ _You will just have to trust everything will be ok. Because it will.’_ A wisp of her mother’s voice filtered through her head and she squeezed her eyes tighter wishing she could clutch on to the memory and keep her here. The effort was futile, she had slipped through her fingers, so she opened her eyes and stared blankly out the window. Rosie contemplated if she had enough time to nap, but she didn’t, the cafe was only 15 minutes away.  
  
She slammed the car door shut and immediately spotted James who was sitting at a table outside the coffee shop on a business call, the outdoor heating lamp basked him in a red glow as the sun started it’s depressingly early descent. He was talking to someone on his phone with a coffee in his hand, a matching cup opposite him presumably for her. She fixed an enthusiastic smile to her face as she approached him, he smiled warmly back as he set his coffee down on the table and gestured for her to take a seat.  
  
“I’m actually meeting her now.” Rosie raised her eyebrows and wondered who was on the phone. “Yes, just a chat. Doing really well now, really getting behind what we’re selling.” He nodded at her in greeting and she strained her ears to see if she could listen in. No such luck. “Thanks for the call. Alright, I’ll update you. Bye.” He ended the call and placed his phone in the inner pocket of his suit.  
  
They began talking about how the past week had gone, concluding that the album was now in its final stages. He pulled some statistics up on his phone and guided her through them, it generally seemed positive to Rosie.  
  
“You’ve really got yourself into gear, I’m so glad you’ve got a better attitude towards this. At one stage I was worried we’d made the wrong choice but you’re a natural. You’ve separated Rosie ‘the singer’ from Rosie ‘the person’ quite easily, it takes a while for some artists to get that.”  
  
He chuckled to himself, she wondered if she’d ever heard him laugh before. “But I suppose you’ve had practice with that.” Rosie’s blood ran cold. ‘ _What does that mean?’_ She couldn’t work out if the comment was off hand or not, her stomach lurched all the same. He continued “Have you had a chance to listen to any of the completed tracks?”  
  
“Yes, on my way over here actually.” She took a deep breath. “The only thing I’m worried about is I don’t want all of the songs to sound the same. They’re good but I don’t see much that differentiates them.”  
  
“They’re great Rosie.” He leant forward in his chair and placed his hand over her’s, the action was strikingly similar to what Bobby had done in the cafe earlier. But his hand wasn’t soft and warm, it was cold, tense and seemed more like a power move than a source of comfort. “Don’t worry, you’ve got two songs left to record this week, they’ll add a little something different.” Her eyes darted to his unmoving hand and back to his face. “You should have them wrapped by the end of Sunday, I’ll get my PA to amend your calendar.” James released her hand to retrieve his phone from his pocket and began tapping away, she found herself grateful for the cold air that rushed to replace his grip.  
  
Rosie quickly removed her hands from the table, sliding them safely under her thighs. “Of course.” She cleared her throat. “I was actually meaning to ask you something.” He looked at her expectantly. “I would like to start taking a day off each week again, after this one.”  
  
“And why is that?” He said tersely, the smile had vanished but he was neutral, unthreatening.  
  
“I just… I don’t think this is sustainable. My writing is suffering, choreography is taking a long time to pick up and… I think some rest each week would help.”  
  
A short low grumble came from James’ chest. “Just when I thought we were finally making some progress. The ball is rolling Rosie! The time is now, you can’t afford to lose any momentum.”  
  
“I won’t! If anything, I’ll work even harder because I’ll have more energy.” She said as assertively as she could.  
  
“This industry is cruel, today you’re somebody and tomorrow you’re old news. This is bigger than you, so many people have invested in you.” His hand gripped his coffee cup tightly, threatening to spill the contents and make a mess of the table. “ A lot is riding on this album Rosie, more than you know.”  
  
“Yes, and I’m so grateful but that’s why I need time to rest. I want to work hard, Bobby-”  
  
“Oh I see. This is where it’s come from.” He rolled his eyes and released the cup, it tottered slightly but thankfully didn’t collapse. “The baker boyfriend. What does he know about this industry? This kind of schedule is what everyone is doing Rosie, you don’t get time off. _I_ don’t get time off. But _we_ are going to make an amazing album, just keep pushing through. Rest comes when we’ve earned it.” James looked around, observing that they were alone in the seating area outside. “We’re supposed to be a team. If you listen to him, you’ll lose everything. Again.”  
  
Her eyes widened as she looked at him in shock, how could he know? Who told him? He couldn’t know, no way.  
  
“Don’t look at me like that. Of course I know you were homeless. It’s my job to know everything about my artists.”  
  
“No.” She whispered to herself. “Everything?”  
  


_‘’Well, Rosie, my house is nice and warm. I can give you food and somewhere to sleep for the night.’ The frost whipped around her hair, biting at her skin. The Man gestured towards the sky that was threatening snow. ‘Temperatures going to be sub-zero tonight, sweetheart.’_

  
‘I _don’t know you.’_

  
James stood from his seat and discarded his coffee into the trash. “Yes, but you should know I keep my friends’ secrets, I stop them from getting out.”  
  
The courtyard’s halogen lighting cast a shadow over his face as he fixed her with his icy stare.   
  
“We’re friends, aren’t we sweetpea?”  
  


_‘Everyone’s a stranger until you get to know them. I could be a friend.’_  
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Rosie was out of breath as she clumsily entered her apartment building. James’ revelation had left her terrified of the atomic bomb he now held in his possession. If he knew she’d been homeless, what else did he know? ‘ _Everything’_ Had he found him? Spoken to him? Had he been told every sordid disgusting detail that was fighting tooth and nail to get out and-and  
  
Her head swam with questions, the voices shouted over each other to be heard and she was tired, so fucking tired.  
  
_‘We’re friends, aren’t we Sweetpea?’_

No they certainly were not friends, what would he do? Who would he tell? The media? He could tank her career. ‘ _Nothing. No one.’_ Would he tell Bobby? ‘ _It’s not like I’m lying to him.’_ No. No. ‘ _Liar.’_ This wasn’t it. This wasn’t how he was supposed to find out. ‘ _The bitch is dead!’_ But she wasn’t. She was alive. She was watching. Waiting. Her frigid hands were suffocating. 

She pushed herself forwards, racing up the stairs on gelatin legs. The gateway to heaven was mere metres away and she felt herself stumble, but a firm grip caught her arm before she could fall. She jerked backwards, shrieking but a second hand darted out to steady her, hauling her upright.  
  
“Steady! Didn’t even notice me did you?” She whirled around at Bobby’s light-hearted voice and gulped in air like a fish. “Almost took me down with you.” He chuckled.  
  
“Forget something at home?” He smiled at her and her eyes darted around his face, committing every smooth perfect feature to memory before he disappeared from her sight forever. Her fingers gripped the lapel of his coat, crumpling the material a little but the texture was soothing and anchoring her to the present. If she held on tight enough the thoughts in her head might not burst through the seams and consume her alive.  
  
“I - he-” She stammered, her chest was heaving and her vision spun from lack of blood sugar. Bobby’s smile faded as her wild and frightened eyes locked on his.  
  
“Are you hurt?” He blurted and glanced down the stairs over her shoulder. “Are you running from someone?”  
  
She shook her head vigorously, regretting it as the throbbing in her head increased.  
  
“Ok good.” He held her forearms gently as they remained glued to his chest. “What’s wrong then? Look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”  
  
A delirious involuntary laugh escaped her lips and she clamped her mouth shut but it still bubbled out. She had no clue why she was laughing, her brain was doing overtime while her limbs moved in slow motion.  
  
An easy smile graced Bobby’s face. “Have you been day drinking?”  
  
“What? No.” Her grip on his jacket slackened. “No. James sent me home and I-I need to tell you something.”  
  
“Ah, will it take long? I don’t really have time, I’m just about to have this meeting, you know, the one I was telling you about earlier.” He placed his hands over hers and gently removed them from his coat.  
  
“I just, I...” She stared at her hands, warm from his golden touch. Not blue, not numb. “I don’t know.”  
  
“Can it wait then?”  
  
Of course it could wait. In her panic she’d ran straight here on autopilot, intending to do what? Tell him? What was she thinking?  
  
“Yes, sorry.” She nodded. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Another juddering giggle slipped out and Bobby glanced at her nervously. “I can’t remember what it was now.”  
  
“Come on.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked her up the stairs. “Have a think and we’ll talk about it later, aye?”  
  
Rosie nodded dumbly.  
  
“Are you sure you’re ok, you seem a bit shaken up?”  
  
“Sorry, I’m fine. Just stressed I think.” He pressed a kiss to her temple as he guided her up the steps. “Don’t worry, you need to get to your meeting.”  
  
“Alright, well relax and look after yourself. There’s brownies in the kitchen, they’re really good, you should treat yourself. We can talk about everything when I get back.”  
  
“I can’t-”  
  
“You can. It’s just one, it won’t kill you. We’ll talk about that as well.” They reached the top of the stairs and he let go of her to unlock the door, it swung open. “Kiss for good luck?” He cupped her face in his palms, the glossy vacant sheen in her eyes made his stomach a little unnerved but still, he dipped his head to kiss her sweetly. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
“Don’t forget about the brownies. Peanut Butter and chocolate, your favourite.” He smoothed some of her hair before pressing a final kiss to her lips and leaving. He heard her enter the hallway and shut the front door as he approached the steps.  
  
He thought his unease would subside once she’d safely closed the door, but as he descended the stairs he felt it increase with every step. He contemplated turning back, but his legs kept carrying him forward. The entire encounter had felt bizarre, whatever was going on with her, he hoped it could wait or maybe by the time he got home she’d have phoned one of her friends and they’d have known what to say.  
  
He spent the entire journey agonising, the more he thought the more he realised that Rosie hadn’t seemed ok in a long time. Every time he saw her, although the occasions were increasingly few and far between, she’d seemed more distant, the circles under her eyes were a little darker and her smile was less genuine. It rapidly dawned on him that things were not ok, that _she_ was not ok and he felt panic rise in his chest. But he truly did have this meeting to attend, he really needed this investment and he’d miss it if he went back now. Once he exited the underground he pulled his phone from his pocket and sent his girlfriend a text.  
  
_‘Sorry I had to rush off earlier, we can talk about whatever you want when I get home. Call me if you need me. I love you xxx’_

Now that was done he blew out a harsh breath, letting some of the tension he was carrying in his shoulders go. He decided he was going to focus on the meeting now, when it was finished he’d go straight home and check on Rosie. They could talk about whatever it was that was going on with her.  
  
But that’s not how it played out two hours later when he finally returned. He called for her as soon as he’d unlocked the front door. “I’m home, Lass!”  
  
He received no reply as he gently closed the door and removed his coat and shoes. He put them away neatly before arranging her shoes that had been uncharacteristically left discarded in the middle of the hall. He could faintly hear the shower running and supposed that she had taken his advice to relax and look after herself. He approached the door and called out again “Rosie, I’m home.” She didn’t respond which was unusual. He pressed his ear to the door, straining to hear anything.  
  
The world stopped.  
  
He could just make out the sound of Rosie’s sobs over the patter of the shower.  
  
“Rosie?” He heard a gasp and the crying instantly stopped. He realised that Rosie didn’t want him to know she’d been crying, the thought scared him, why wouldn’t she want him to know that? Was he losing her? He felt his chest tighten and tried the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge. She’d locked it from the inside. “Rosie?” No response. He paced towards the kitchen and squeezed his eyes shut as he leant his palms flat against the cool lino.  
  
After a few deep breaths he opened them and noticed the fridge was left ajar, he checked inside before closing the door. The brownies were gone. All 8 of them. He stalked towards the bin and pressed the pedal with his foot, the lid clanging noisily against the wall and a china plate sat on the top of the rubbish upside down. He took it out but only 1 sad, squished brownie was underneath. Had she eaten the other 7? He set the plate in the sink and washed his hands.  
  
He approached the bathroom door again and spoke to her through the wood. “I love you” She sobbed once, loudly. “You’ve got me worried.” He rattled the door handle a little. “Please let me in, I want to make sure you’re OK.”  
  
“I’m fine.” He heard her quiet reply.  
  
“I don’t think you are.”  
  
“I’m fine.” She repeated. 

He listened for a few more minutes, he thought he heard the familiar sound of her brushing her teeth and the opening and closing of a few cabinets, but the echoey white noise of the shower kept running.  
  
Bobby felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he checked the caller I.D. Seeing it was Lottie and having a feeling Rosie wouldn’t be emerging any time soon he answered. “Hey” He said quietly as he walked towards the living area. “Now’s not really a good time.”  
  
“Bobby, can you get Rosie to call me back?” The Ozzie’s tone was aggressive and Bobby raised his eyebrows.  
  
“Err. Yeah alright.”  
  
“Tell her that I didn’t say shit! I didn’t tell anyone.”  
  
“Are you gonna tell me what this is about?”  
  
“No! Just tell her to call me back.” Bobby rolled his eyes, he really couldn't care less about whatever drama she was dragging him into.

“OK. Bye.” He ended the call and went back to the kitchen where he emptied the dishwasher and generally faffed about anxiously until he heard the creak of the bathroom door. He waited a few moments longer before following her to their bedroom, she was already in bed, with her eyes closed facing away from him. Her hair was dry and the skin around her eyes swollen from crying. He bit the inside of his cheek, it didn’t appear that she’d been showering after all.  
  
He removed his jumper and jeans so he was just in a t-shirt and boxers before quietly getting into bed next to her. As he lifted the duvet he could see she’d wrapped her arms tightly around her torso, the pads of her fingers turning white as they dug into the cotton of her pyjama shirt. He gently settled the duvet over them and slipped his arm around her, she let him pull her into his embrace. He pressed a kiss to her back and his heart squeezed when she started crying again.  
  
“Come here.” He whispered and encouraged her to roll over. She complied and he wrapped both arms tightly around her now, pressing her face into his chest. He felt her hands grip on to his t-shirt and he nestled his face in her hair as she cried against him.  
  
“Don’t leave.” She hiccuped through the lump in her throat. “Don’t leave me.”  
  
“I won’t. I’m right here.” He gently stroked her hair and soothed her until her breathing settled and she fell asleep.

But Bobby remained wide awake, it was early in the evening and he was hyper aware that he still had no clue what was going on. He had never seen her cry before, not really. She’d shed the odd tear here and there but not full on ugly, uncontrollable crying. He thought about the phone call with Lottie but concluded that was definitely not the source of her upset. Bobby considered waking her up but decided against it, she’d been exhausted for weeks and could probably do with the sleep. She had been behaving somewhat normally at lunch, so he wondered what had happened to her this afternoon to go from running terrified up the stairs one second, laughing at nothing the next, to crying alone in the bathroom and finally passing out in bed at 7pm. Despite securing the coffee supplier deal, he cursed himself for not rescheduling the meeting. He wished he’d entered the flat with her and they’d talked things through.  
  
He squeezed her a little tighter and whispered “We’ll talk tomorrow. It’ll be OK.” It did nothing to reassure him.


	8. Teetering Over The Edge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things don't seem better in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally ridiculously long so I've split it in two! Expect the next chapter in the next couple of days!
> 
> Trigger warning: References to rape, References to sexual assault, PTSD, Eating Disorders.

The nausea woke Rosie from her sleep, it wasn’t an urgent sickness just one that made her uneasy and her stomach ache. She lifted her head from the pillow, the material peeled away from her sweaty skin and the dried trails of salty tears and snot crackled as she scrunched her face in discomfort. She blearily blinked in the darkness, only a street light outside cast just enough light through the curtains to reveal the silhouette of the sleeping man next to her, his warm arm was a dead weight and pinned her torso to the bed. She carefully twisted onto her side and watched him for a moment, she couldn’t see his features clearly but she knew he was in deep sleep from his rhythmic heavy breathing. She closed her eyes again and listened to his breaths, hoping they would lull her back to sleep but she was too restless and awake now. Rosie carefully lifted his arm, slid out from under the covers and gently placed his arm back down, Bobby stirred, stretched his limbs and sighed before settling again.   
  
She searched for her phone on the nightstand and realised it wasn’t there, the memories of the previous day flooded back. She stifled a groan and left the bedroom, her phone was on the coffee table where she’d abandoned it last night. She turned on the screen, thankful that it still somehow had 50% battery left, and deleted all of the notifications. There was always something she had to do; phone calls to return, alerts for her next appointment, texts from James or someone else she had to keep sweet. Messages from friends were increasingly few and far between, usually lamenting that Rosie hadn’t attended someone’s birthday party. Sometimes it was information overload and she’d find herself tempted to turn the device off for once and for all, although she didn’t think that would go down well. Rosie checked the time, it was 4:30am and probably a little too early to be awake.  
  
She went to the bathroom and splashed her face with water before properly cleaning the grime from her face. She returned to the bedroom as quietly as possible, Bobby had shifted a little in his sleep and was now a tangle of duvet and limbs. The brunette quietly put on a sports bra, leggings and one of Bobby’s old t-shirts before padding over to his side of the bed. She ran a finger along his jaw with a featherlight touch, he looked serene and relaxed. She smiled sadly, the stress she’d inflicted on him last night had seemed to dissipate with sleep, she had no doubt this was the beginning of the end. After her detached performance last night she knew all of her broken parts would be blatantly obvious and he’d finally realise that she didn’t belong with him, that she couldn’t make him happy now the illusion was shattered. Rosie bent down and kissed his temple. She inhaled his sweet cinnamon scent mixed with fresh linen laundry detergent committing it to memory, he sighed and nuzzled his head into the pillow.  
  
Rosie went back to the living room and began her favourite yoga routine on her sunshine yellow yoga mat. She breathed through the stretches, focusing on the muscles that contributed to the completion of each movement fully, she caught her mind wandering a few times but generally it helped to clear some of the fog in her brain.  
  
Bobby woke at 5am, refreshed from their early night, he yawned and stretched his limbs before realising that Rosie wasn’t beside him. He felt a pang of concern and dragged a hand over his face, rubbing some of the sleep from his eyes.. He needed to talk to her today about what was going on but he wasn’t looking forward to what would undoubtedly be a difficult conversation. He pondered over what he was going to say, unsure where was best to even start. He decided to see if she’d say anything on her own accord first. If not, he’d ask a few easy questions before finding out why she was upset yesterday. He’d work backwards from there; the diet, how tired she is, James’ borderline threatening behaviour and maybe even the constant spacing out. What had she meant when she’d said ‘Don’t leave me’? Did she seriously think he was considering breaking up with her? He sighed, and then there was Lottie’s phone call which added a whole host of questions to the mix.   
  
He got out of bed and went to the bathroom to quickly complete his morning routine. He entered the living room, finding Rosie rolling up her yoga matt, wearing a ratty paisley cuddle t-shirt that swamped her small frame. She looked up at him blankly before something clicked.  
  
“Morning sweetness!” She smiled brightly and began sheathing the mat in it’s protective bag.   
  
“Mornin’. You’re up early.” He walked over to her as she stood and wrapped an arm around her shoulder to press a kiss to her head before letting her go. He was surprised to find her in such a cheery mood but he wasn’t complaining, perhaps this conversation would go better than he expected.  
  
“So are you.” She stored the yoga mat in a cupboard in a mid-century side-board they’d bought from a vintage furniture store not long after moving in together. She pressed her back to it and placed her hands behind her, concealing the fidgeting she often did when her hands felt itchy.   
  
“Mmm…” He nodded sleepily. “Bakers’ hours and all that.” He walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Good, how are you?”  
  
“Yeah fine, I’m glad you’re feeling better this morning. Fancy a coffee? Anything to eat?” Rosie’s stomach gurgled and Bobby laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” He put a pod in the coffee machine, it hummed quietly as it came to life, the gears clicking and whirring.   
  
“I’ll definitely take a coffee.”  
  
“Breakfast too, yeah? We skipped dinner last night, could we eat together now?” He said hopefully and Rosie’s heart squeezed.   
  
She nodded feeling guilty that he’d missed a meal because of her. “Ok, sounds nice. I’ll have a quick shower first if that’s OK.”  
  
Bobby beamed at her. “Perfect, I’ll make us something while you’re in there.”  
  
Rosie entered the bathroom feeling only a little anxious, she’d been worried about what Bobby would say this morning but so far he’d seemed normal. She stripped off her clothes while the shower heated up. When she got under the spray she closed her eyes and just stood under the water for a few moments enjoying the way the pounding water was soothing and refreshing her skin.   
  
The events of yesterday creeped into her consciousness, mainly the thinly veiled threat from James and how her life felt like she was on a runaway roller coaster with no safety belt. She knew it wasn’t an empty warning, if she didn’t do what he said, continue this manufactured pop career he’d created for her with nothing short of enthusiasm, he’d destroy her. He was the conductor and she was just along for the ride. She thought about how disgusted everyone would be if they found out. From Bobby, to her friends, her nieces, people that passed her in the street. Alex could hardly bear to contact her as it was, what would he think if he knew? The Man would see, would he get some sick thrill out of it? She didn’t even know his name or if he was still alive, but there was always the possibility that he would find her and make good on some of his own threats.  
  
She felt her muscles tense up and she pressed her palms against the tiled wall as her stomach seized. She retched but forced the liquid back down, she hated throwing up, besides there was nothing left but bile after she’d emptied her stomach of the brownies she’d forcibly choked down yesterday in a zombie-like compulsion.  
  
_‘Oh, my poor baby.’_ _  
__  
_ A jolt of electricity shook straight through her. “Mum?” Rosie whipped the shower curtain back but there was no one there. She surveyed the room cautiously before slowly drawing the curtain across again. She tilted her head back into the spray and exhaled slowly before drawing in a deep breath. She repeated the process five times before washing her hair, focussing her mind on today’s schedule so it wouldn’t wander too much. Once she’d applied the conditioner to the ends of her hair, she picked up her loofah, squirting a jet of shower gel onto it and started washing her legs. She swirled it methodically upwards, the suds cascaded down her skin and over her hands.   
  
She sighed when she spotted the thin trickle of blood on her inner left thigh that was coming from her vagina. She wasn’t due on her period for another two weeks but stress can mess with your cycle. She scrubbed at it with the loofah yet the blood wasn’t coming off. Rosie added more shower gel and harshly swiped at her leg, the abrasive plastic turned the delicate skin an irritated pink but the blood stayed put, it wasn’t budging. _  
__  
__‘Get in the shower, I’m going to wash you.’_ _  
__  
_ Rosie gritted her teeth and continued to drag the loofah across her skin, her thighs were sore and the conditioner in her hair began to run into her eyes making them sting.  
  


‘ _ If you’d been a good girl for me then I wouldn’t have had to be so rough.’  _

  
She lashed her arm out, but it didn’t connect with anyone, instead the loofah slipped from her hand hitting the tiles. It bounced off and slapped pathetically on to the bottom of the tub. She strained her ears but could only hear the pattering of the shower spray on the bottom of the tub. With shaking hands she quickly rinsed the rest of the conditioner out of her hair and turned off the shower, she checked her leg again, confused as to why the blood wouldn’t wash away. She placed one foot after the other on the blue fluffy bath mat and roughly dried her body with a towel. Rosie dropped the towel on the floor and looked into the mirror.   
  
Her thigh was angry and pink but the blood was gone.    
  
She looked down at herself and checked her leg. No blood. She touched the entrance to her vagina and then examined her fingers, nothing. Nothing was there.   
  
The woman stared at herself blankly in the mirror for a few moments, the girl staring back had puffy eyes and sickly skin. She didn’t look like a singer or a Love Island winner. She was sad and scared.   
  
“This isn’t happening.” She whispered, barely audible over the extraction fan.”I’m not like this. Not anymore.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for all of your kudos! It really means so much to me and is so motivating!
> 
> I hope you all have a better 2021! Happy New Year :)


	9. I don't know why I drown my mind in everything they say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby finally confronts Rosie about his concerns, will she open up to him or just fall apart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have spent SO LONG on this chapter. I've done loads of research on top of drawing on my own experiences and I'm STILL not happy with it!  
> So here it is anyway, I might edit it later, but I wanted to get this up because it's a pretty crucial one in advancing the story. 
> 
> Chapter title is from Hurricane by I Prevail (this song depicts PTSD pretty accurately in my opinion).
> 
> I really hope you enjoy it! The usual trigger warning apply - please see the story tags.

Meanwhile Bobby happily got to work making breakfast. The Scott wasn’t usually a breakfast person, he loved breakfast _food_ but not the ritual of eating just after waking. Instead he usually waited a couple of hours before tucking into something on a break at work. On this occasion he was happy to eat something this early to take advantage of the opportunity to have a proper talk with her. Rosie was a creature of habit, usually unable to leave the house without having breakfast, coffee and a multivitamin. She likes porridge, so he set about making some in a saucepan on the hob, adding in little pieces of chopped apple, some peanut butter and cinnamon so it would taste like apple pie. Warm and comforting. He divided the porridge between two bowls, drizzled a small amount of honey on top and a sprinkle of crushed walnuts. He set them on the table along with two cups of coffee, Rosie’s was in her favourite ‘Not Today Satan’ mug, he then found her bottle of vitamins and placed one next to her mug with a glass of water.   
  
Soon enough Rosie emerged into the kitchen, fully dressed, with tired eyes, damp hair and a bare face.   
  
“There she is! Breakfast is served, take a seat gorgeous.”  
  
She walked over and stood by the chair, her hands wrapped around the bars of the wooden backrest and she looked at the steaming bowl of porridge. The sweet creamy smell coiled upwards filling her nostrils, she hummed approvingly. “Oh wow, It’s like something you’d see on winter aesthetic Instagram. Thank you.” A tired smile played on her lips.  
  
“Aye, perfect fuel for all that dancing you do. You gonna sit down?” He took a deep breath. “I’d like to chat about last night.” Rosie hesitated, her smile vanished and Bobby’s heart sank.  
  
“I-er… I need to get going.” Her voice was small, like someone was speaking from far away. “I might be late.” She removed her hands from the chair  
  
Bobby was dumbstruck why she’d suddenly retracted into herself. When did things get so bad between them? Why couldn’t she talk to him any more? He wondered what had happened to her, sometimes when he looked at her now it was like he was seeing a different person. As if someone had turned off her light and the positive, outgoing and cheeky woman had been replaced by someone nervous, distant and quiet. 

**“** Rosie!” His voice came out more desperate than he intended it to, but she stopped where she was. “What are you talking about? You’ve got _loads_ of time. I thought we were having breakfast.”   
  
Rosie swallowed and nodded. “You’re right, sorry.” She pulled the seat out and sat next to him. She was struck by the memory of sitting in the hospital corridor waiting for her mum and Alex to come out of the doctors’ office, she felt like she was waiting for something similarly ominent. She didn’t touch the porridge, her blank stare was fixated on the froth that sat atop her drink, but Bobby took it as a win nonetheless.   
  
After a few moments of silence he spoke.   
  
“So….good yoga session this morning?” He scooped a spoonful of porridge into his mouth. For oats and milk, he thought they were surprisingly good.   
  
“Yeah, nice and relaxing.” She traced a finger along the handle of her mug. Up and down. Up and down.   
  
Bobby nodded. “Good, you deserve some chill time.” He smiled to himself, he was glad she was keeping up with her hobby, he hadn’t seen her do any yoga in a while. Anything she could do to relax was a good thing in his book. “Oh, did you get a chance to talk to James about Sundays off?”   
  
“Yeah...”   
  
He nodded encouragingly, trying his best to keep the conversation light hearted and non-threatening, and perhaps clear some of this awkward air. “Yeah? How’d it go?”   
  
“He said no.”   
  
Bobby set his spoon down in the bowl. “No?” He couldn’t stop himself from frowning.   
  
Rosie pressed her lips together and nodded.   
  
“Aye right. You’re takin’ some time off, I don’t care.”   
  
Rosie’s head flew up as she met his gaze. “What? I can’t, James said no.”   
  
“He doesn’t own you, you know. He can’t stop you.” Bobby shrugged. “Just tell him you’re taking time off.”   
  
‘ _If you listen to him, you’ll lose everything’_ James’ voice spoke quietly in her ear.   
  
“It doesn’t work like that! I can’t just-” She leant her elbows on the table and held her head in her hands, digging the heels of her palms into her eyes. “James says everyone’s schedule is like mine.”   
  
“That’s a load of bullshit.”   
  
She jerked her hands away from her face and scowled at him. “I’m not lying!”   
  
“Nae I know you’re not. He is, the dobber.” He sighed. “Do you really think that singers _involuntarily_ don’t even get one day off in three months?”   
  
“It’s not been three months.” She muttered.   
  
Bobby scoffed. “Aye right, sorry. Two months and twenty-two days.” He turned in his seat so his knees were facing her and he leant an arm against the backrest. “I’ll be honest, I’m worried about you, Rosie.”   
  
“Don’t be. I’m fine.” She stretched her arms out in front of her, flexing her fingers across the woodgrain. “I’ll get time off after the press tour. I-I can handle this.”   
  
Bobby’s jaw twitched, the press tour wouldn’t be over for another month at least. “Really, you’re fine? Then what was yesterday about?“   
  
“Nothing, I’m fine!”.   
  
“Ok, _nothing_ is locking yourself in the bathroom and _fine_ is crying yourself to sleep. Not to mention starving yourself on a stupid diet.” He gestured towards her bowl. “You gonna eat anything?”

“Are _you_ going to back off?” She shot back feeling incredibly defensive.   
  
“Nae. Not until you tell me what happened to you yesterday.” Rosie gritted her teeth and didn’t say anything. She didn’t need this. Not today, not after what had happened in the shower, she’d barely composed herself not even 10 minutes ago. Bobby continued his inquisition. “Did you ask James for time off and he had a go?”.   
  
“I’ve signed a contract, I have to do what he says!” She continued to stare at her hands, the bones seemed to disappear as her fingers moved.   
  
“Does your contract say he can drive you to the edge of a nervous breakdown?”

Rosie pushed herself up from her seat, which screeched as it scuffed the floor. She spun her head to stare daggers at him and indignantly cry. “I’m not crazy!”

“I didn’t sa-”   
  
“James was right, you don’t understand.”   
  
“How can I?!” Bobby snapped, the comment and her infuriating unwillingness to explain anything was getting under his skin. “He’s got you runnin’ ragged and starvin’ yourself!”   
  
“It’s so easy for you! You don’t know what it’s like for me! I’m cellulite and red circles and nobody!” ‘ _The homeless victim who watched her Mum die.’_ ”And you’re-” She gestured aggressively towards him. “-you’re you!”

“What are you even-” He took a deep breath and tried again with a calmer tone. “Sit down.”  
  
She did the opposite and stormed across the room. “I tried to tell you before but I can’t.”   
  
“Tell me what?”   
  
“I thought I could be happy, I thought I’d moved on.” She threaded her fingers through her damp hair, pulling at the strands a little.. “But I can’t, he won’t let me!”   
  
Bobby stood up and walked closer to her. “Who won’t let you?”   
  
A heavy silence hung over them, Bobby held eye contact with her. He wasn’t sure if he actually expected her to tell him anything useful, he’d begun to realise that Rosie was pretty useless about opening up about… well...anything. The concoction of fury and sadness in her eyes subsided and was replaced by the blank stare, he knew she wasn’t even looking at him now, she was staring straight through him. She’d checked out of the conversation, Bobby rolled his eyes. Typical.   
  
“Aye. Say nothing and give me that creepy dead inside stare, that’ll do it.”   
  
Rosie’s face crumpled and she briskly turned to leave. Bobby shot to the doorway, maneuvering himself so she couldn’t just walk out.   
  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that but, fuck” He sighed “you’re not leaving until you answer some of my questions.” Rosie gripped his bicep, trying to tug away his hold from the doorframe. “Did you-” He winced as her nails dug into his skin a little. “-did you throw up last night?”   
  
“Get out of my way!” She snapped, unwilling to deal with any more of his interrogation.   
  
‘ _Where do you think you’re going? Sneaky girl.’_ Rosie’s eyes grew wide, she glanced over her shoulder as the voice knocked around her head, disorienting her. She hastily added her other hand to pull on his arm harder.   
  
“Why were you running yesterday? When I saw you on the stairs.”   
  
“Move!” She shouted as Bobby brought his other hand up to rip her off his arm, he gritted his teeth as her nails left light scratches on his skin.   
  
_‘No, no. You can’t leave before you thank me properly.’  
  
_ Rosie looked frantically around the room with watery eyes _“_ Please don’t make me!” she called out to the voice. _  
_   
“What’s wrong with you?! Just calm down!”   
  
The tears spilled over and her breathing became more ragged. “I need to leave!”   
  
“Just tell me so I can fix it!”   
  
_‘If you tell anyone I’ll make you disappear. No one will notice, it’ll be like you never existed.’_   
  
Rosie staggered backwards a few paces and hugged herself tightly, her shoulders hunched forward protectively. “You can’t fix this! I wish I could tell you. I wanted to but I _can’t._ ” Her voice broke at the end and she dragged in quivering breaths.  
  
“You can!” He took a deep breath and composed himself, he spoke to her softly this time in an attempt to de-escalate the situation. “I love you, you can tell me anything.” Bobby gently held both of her shoulders with his hands and stooped to look at her face, trying to gain some kind of eye contact. “Has James threatened you? Is that it?”   
  
‘ _Good girls keep their mouths shut.’_

‘ _You should know I keep my friends’ secrets, I stop them from getting out.’_   
  
“I need you to tell me what’s going on.”   
  
_‘You’ll have to tell him at some point. It’ll come up eventually.’_   
  
Rosie could hardly differentiate who was speaking and she clamped her eyes shut. “I can’t! I can’t think straight!” Bobby’s thumbs gently stroked her shoulders as she drew in more harsh breaths. She gulped and shook her head “No.” She opened her eyes and gave him full eye contact at last. “No, can we just pretend none of this happened? Yesterday didn’t happen and I’m fine. We’re fine. I-I just need to breathe.”   
  
‘ _Stop fucking screaming! I’ll gag you if I have to.’_ _  
_ _  
_ “I’ll be quiet, see? You don’t have to, I’m not screaming.” _  
_ _  
_ “Rosie?” Bobby’s frown deepened, it didn’t seem like she was talking to him, or was she? It was hard to tell. _  
_ _  
_ “It’s ok, I’m fine and there’s no blood. The man’s not real, he didn’t find me and-”   
  
_‘There we go. All gone. Nice and clean, just like it never happened.’_   
  
“It’s not real. None of it’s real!” She implored, smiling through her tears. She looked over her shoulder and spoke to the empty room. “I won’t tell, I promise. Just go away.”   
  
“Rosie, what man? Did someone hurt you?” Bobby’s eyes were a painful mix of concern and fear. This was bad, so much worse than anything he’d feared. He couldn’t help but feel like he’d gone about this entirely the wrong way. He’d never been in a situation like this before, he didn’t know what to do or what would help. He was scared of making things worse, the only thing he could think of doing was calling for help.   
  
“No... no.” She whined. “Don’t. Please don’t look at me like that. Not you, please?” His heart ached as she pleaded with him.   
  
“Let’s sit down.” He said shakily. “We’ll take a seat together and...we’ll take a moment.” He guided her over to the sofa and sank down next to her, keeping one arm loosely around her shoulders. His hand squeezed her arm gently in what he hoped was a reassuring manner as her tears continued to shake her body. He slid his phone from his trouser pocket and unlocked it, his lock screen was a photo of him and Rosie, smiling blissfully at each other at The Love Island after party. He wished he could go back in time and do everything over, to see if he could have done something different to prevent whatever was happening to her. He opened the ‘contacts and calls’ app and began typing in ‘111’ when Rosie wrapped her hand around his wrist, his thumb hovered over the call button.   
  
“What are you doing?”   
  
“I’m..” He looked from his phone to his distraught girlfriend nervously. “I’m just calling for some advice.”   
  
Rosie shook her head frantically.   
  
“I don’t know what to do.” He felt his jaw tremble and he forced it to stop, now was not the time to fall apart. “I don’t know how to help you.”   
  
She suddenly lunged at his phone, but Bobby was faster. He jumped up from the sofa, letting her fall onto the cushions. He pressed the green call button. “Bobby don’t, I’m sorry! Stop!” She begged “Please don’t, you don’t know what you’re doing to me!”   
  
He briskly walked away from her and into the kitchen, his heart was pounding so loudly it was like it was inside his head. He dropped his voice and spoke quietly to the operator. “Hi, um. I’m worried about my girlfriend-” When he turned his back Rosie scrambled up from the sofa and dashed for the hallway. “I think she’s having some kind of-” She swiped a pair of trainers off the ground and grabbed for her handbag before fumbling with the latch on the door. “Er, some kind of mental health problem.” He turned back around and panicked when he realised she’d done a runner. “Shit! Sorry, she’s uh-.” He darted into the hallway in time to see the door slam shut. He struggled with the door, cursing himself for not getting the stiff latch fixed and ran out into the hallway. “She’s behaving really erratically, she said something about a man and there being blood. I think she might have been talking to someone who isn’t here, I don’t know, she’s been really stressed, not sleeping or eating much.”   
  
He couldn’t see her as he ran down the stairs, he opened the apartment complex’s main door and looked up and down the street.   
  
**_“Where is she now? Am I able to speak with her?”_ **   
  
“She’s gone. Oh god. I don’t know where she is.”

**Author's Note:**

> Respectful opinions and reactions are very much welcome! Your comments are so motivating! Thanks for reading! :)


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